Whats Your Opinion Of This

[bethan]

Got to agree with the majority posting here. Quality of life seems preferable to stetching it out a bit longer without any treats or pleasures.

My friend's nan died recently at aged 102. She had been in a nursing home for 17 years, was desperately unhappy for most of that time, imobile, incontinent, in pain, didnt recognise any of her family and showed no pleasure in anything, even her great grand children. Every time she got ill the home pulled all the stops out to keep her alive.

My friend used to be really close to her Nan but felt that nature should be allowed to take its couse, not least because of the stess her mum was under with the rollercoaster of 'will she pull through this time'. As she said, it was in the nursing home's interests to kep her going as they wouldnt need to find another person to pay £ 600 a week.

Sorry if I have upset anyone . Its a really difficult subject to talk about and I think there should be more discussion about advanced directives, but that is so hard for family to raise especially with people with dementia.

Beth

 

[robertjohnmills]

No way

I think that Care Home, Hospital and all have a duty of care to inform your father of the side effects of combining alcohol with medications or the dangers of smoking.

Nevertheless your Father still has rights and if he wishes to take a tipple or fill his lungs with toxic smoke against the recommended advice, he has a right so to do. Nobody should withold these from him.

Even in my view when someone is no longer able to make rational decisions about their own welfare can or should intervention be made on such matters. Neither have a critical impact but provide great comfort to a troubled mind.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I think that Care Home, Hospital and all have a duty of care to inform your father of the side effects of combining alcohol with medications or the dangers of smoking.

Nevertheless your Father still has rights and if he wishes to take a tipple or fill his lungs with toxic smoke against the recommended advice, he has a right so to do. Nobody should withold these from him.

I agree with John about the duty of care and I agree that your father still has rights. I know that here I have heard of residents not getting washed because they refused the care and when family members complained, the staff said it was because the resident had refused. So why can't it work in reverse?

P.S. Obviously, the smoking may be a concern for more than health reasons but I would think just a weak nightcap would be acceptable.

 

[PostTenebrasLux]

Often it is more about the illusion, the ceremony of the aperitif than the actual drinking. Perhaps half the enjoyment is the smell/scent/perfume and the other half about the taste of the first few sips. Could the original, symbolic sips be replaced with 99 percent water so he can hold the dream and keep medically "safe"?

 

[Ladywriter1968]

Dad only likes whiskey

thing is, some one mentioned bear or wine. Dad only likes whiskey or brandy, but mainly whiskey really, he dont like beer or wines.

I didnt mention also that lately he is in and out of hospital as well, every week, with UTI infections on top. prob is he dont go toilet for hours on end, he always been that way. Now has a catheter. Never used to.

so that is also very stressful on me as this has been going on for a while now. When I say every single I mean every single week he is taken to hospital again. Either UTI infection or he feels unwell or his heart is playing up. I really dont know what will happen cause if he keep going hospital every single week they may suggest a nursing home for him rather then care home. And he is settled at the care home now. This has been going on over a month now. Since that hip operation he really has not been the same. he is always ill now. They have not suggested anything yet, but its all the time now.

25th June - Dad taken hospital UTI Infection, later taken back to care home same day

1st June - Dad taken hospital Heart pace maker not work prop/UTI infection and was unresponsive care home said
Same day I had a chest infection for 3wks and then pulled my lower back out and been in agony ever since
8th June Dad went back to the care home. Hospital said his heart is very weak now

28th May - Dad hospital not well, following day, back at care home 29th May

24th March to 28th April. Dad hip operation so was in hospital all that time.

Physio said his muscles in his legs are wasted away now. She thinks she can get him walking again but I dont see how at his age and he is so weak now. He 7 stones, could be less now.