What's there, when there appears to be nothing left ...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kindred, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,340
    God bless and keep you both, Geraldine and Keith, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Xxx
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,431
    Female
    Dundee
    I’m sorry to read of how things are now. Wishing you strength.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,316
    Kent
    This stage seems to have come quite suddenly @kindred.

    It`s a painful time for you and I just hope your husband feels no pain. I`m sure he will know you are with him even if he does appear not to see you.
     
  4. Unhappy15

    Unhappy15 Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    130
     
  5. Unhappy15

    Unhappy15 Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    130
    Dear Geraldine,
    I have just read you post and I just wanted to send love and strength to you and Keith.
    I really understand how you feel when you go to visit Keith and wish he was his old self and 'just faking' this awful time. I am the same when I visit Joe, even after four years I still don't accept what has happened, will we ever?
    Look after yourself Geraldine and I am sure all our thoughts are with you.
    Much love
    Kathy xxx
     
  6. Loisand

    Loisand Registered User

    Dec 25, 2017
    128
    Dear Geraldine aka Kindred,
    My heart goes out to you, am sending so many hugs and love via cyber space, I have been following your thread this last week, the words you write are from your heart, I know its easy to say "keep your chin up" but I really don't know how else to say it, loads of love and hugs across the airwaves, thinking of you every day xx
     
  7. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Toony, that is remarkable, what a gift, you have given me some of the words of that poem, especially the line about touch and lovemaking. I am so so grateful to you. That is so interesting about your mum, too.
    with love and great thanks, Geraldinexxx
     
  8. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Oh ;my dear, all fellow feeling. No, why would we accept what happened? All I hope is that one day I can live with it more lightly and sweetheart, I wish the same to you. So good to hear from you. Geraldine with lovexx
     
  9. dancer12

    dancer12 Registered User

    Jan 9, 2017
    451
    Mississauga
    Kindred:

    My heart goes out to you. May God give you the extra strength you need. My thoughts & prayers are with you both.

    Sending much loved & many hugs.
     
  10. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,591
    Scotland
    I am thinking off you both and wishing you strength x
     
  11. summerlily1234

    summerlily1234 New member

    Jun 29, 2019
    6
    My husband of 69 years is in a care home and deteriating day by day, i visit and sit with him most days, so i know he is deteriating but i decided to take a video of him struggling to walk and trying to lie on his bed, he doesnt speak to me so i videoed as i was helping him through this process. Thought nothing of it until that evening when i played the video back! I went to pieces the tears came and wouldnt stop! But i kept asking myself why? I know he is ill, i know the struggle he has, but it was like i was seeing him for the first time. Its torment seeing him, its torment for him, its torment for our children, the journey is long and painful . Sue
     
  12. Unhappy15

    Unhappy15 Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    130
    Dear Sue,
    I'm so sorry you have had such a dreadful time. I know what the shock is like when you are faced with the reality of the situation. I never ever think of my husband as he is now, in my mind he is as I met him when he was 45 and a larger than life character.
    I too visit every day and like your husband mine no longer speaks.
    You are so right when you talk about the torment we all live through on this long and painful journey but the only thing that helps is the kindness, friendship and understanding of all on TP. Without TP where else could we find someone who knows what we go through.
    Stay strong Sue .
    Kathy
     
  13. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    516
    Scotland
    Oh my dear Kindred - reading of your experience resonates with me too - OH in care home, deteriorating day by day. I find it difficult to remember the good times we shared - the weight of sadness of this present time weighs me down but I love what you have written - I feel comforted thank you so much.

    Love to you both
    Lilac
     
  14. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    sweetheart, I know, and all my sympathy Sue. I know. With you so much in spirit. with love, Kindred.
     
  15. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Sweetheart, we can write these posts to each other and thank you for your beautiful words. With love, Geraldine, aka Kindredxx
     
  16. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    thank you with all heart, thank you. with love, Geraldinexx
     
  17. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Dancer, thank you so very much. With love, Geraldinexx
     
  18. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Bless and thank you. I am so upheld by this love, Geraldinexx
     
  19. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    Yes, thank you so much. It did come suddenly after a bizarre illness several months ago. with love and thanks Geraldinexx
     
  20. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,175
    I don't normally go to see K on a work day as it's too much for me bearing in mind what I do for a living, but at the moment I am being with him all I can. Apparently the doctor came and reiterated how quickly he is deteriorating but said he is not quite at end of life care.
    So I can hope for another smile and raising of eyebrows.
    But today I suddenly realised I want to set him free. This is a man who adored the outdoors, is an award winning wildlife photographer … He needs to leave this paralysed body. No, of course it is not up to me to set him free, and I will not say this to him of course. But he will know.
    Thank you guys for your wondrous wondrous support. With all my love and thoughts, Geraldinexxx
     

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