Hello everyone, my lovely 84 year old mum has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia and our family is devastated. I am scared of what the future holds, my mum has been a carer all her adult life and this is her and my worst nightmare. She has been in hospital for the last 5 weeks and will be returning home hopefully tomorrow with carers calling 4 times a day to help. She is going to hate having 'strangers' in the house but she can't come home without them. I know she wants me and my brother to look after her and I hate that I can't give her what she wants as she has helped us when we needed it in the past. I feel completely torn between her, and my husband and family. How do we tell her when we cant cope and a care home beckons? I feel completely selfish, and I want my mum back.