what's happening to mum

[zippyh]

Hello, i live in Oxford and my mum lives in Dorset. A while back mum started loosing her memory, and blamed this on getting to be silly old lady.All her life i can remember mum being in control, doing all the sorting out and taking care of the bills, holidays etc. but recently has taken to forgetting things, like appointments, and how to cook things. Another thing is she forgets she has/ has not bought things and has blamed others on mislaying them and they havent been bought. also she has begun to get aggresive with dad, which is most unlike mum.
what i cant handle is being so remote from the situation, my sister is coping with everything, as she lives in the same town.
what is happening to mum, what can i do to help her, i dont whant to do the wrong thing.
really what i whant is guidance, then i can in turn learn to help others.
Steve

 

[salacious]

hello steve

welcome to TP, i take it ur new!
firstly i would suggest that you keep in close contact with ur family , they need u more now than they ever will.
i would say that it does sound like ur mom does have the beginning stages of alzheimers, however i am not a doctor, so i may suggest you speak to a professional and get some tests done with the least amount of disruption to your mothers life.
my mom used to get quite aggressive, but they never mean it, it is usually due to frustration, of forgetting things or not wanting to see that they are forgetting things.
if you need anymore advice, contact me or anyone else on here, we usually draw from our own experiences to help others, we find its the best way, but remember that everyone is different.
hugs

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I think the first thing is that your mother needs to be assessed physically and mentally to find out what is causing her problems. There are other diseases which can cause dementia-like symptoms but can be corrected. I sincerely hope this is the case for you and your family.

Since your sister is coping with the day-to-day events, ask her what you could do that would help her. Perhaps she'd appreciate an ear she can pour her troubles into. Perhaps Talking Point would be of interest to her. Keep your lines of communication open and frequent with your sister and your dad.

In terms of learning, there is a great deal of literature available. There is a great deal of information on this site. You could call your local Alzheimer Society and see if they have a support group you could go to. I found my support group was invaluable - I think it saved my sanity.

Keep us posted. Take care.

 

[myheadisinaspin]

hi just popped in to say, my mum is in oxford and they have a really good support network where you can find allsorts that can help you come to terms with things. this site too will help, as i expect you have many questions.

 

[Lynne]

Hello Steve

Welcome to TP, although I'm sorry about the worries which have brought you here.

If you click on this link http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheets it will take you to the AS factsheets, with which you can get some background into what effects Alzheimer's Disease (& other dementias) can have on a sufferer. As someone else said, it COULD be something else causing your Mum to become forgetful (depression & underactive thyroid are 2 which spring to mind) but her GP will always be the doorway to further help, whatever the cause. If the GP does suspect AD, he will probably refer Mum to a consultant or a memory clinic for further attention. Do what you can to encourage her to go.

Just reading other people's posts & situations will also tell you quite a lot about how families can be affected. There are family carers here at all stages of dementia, and family carers living with the problems 24/7 know more than most doctors about the nitty-gritty of coping with it.

Best wishes, and please come back (& pass on TP to your sister) to use us to help. That's what Talking Point was set up for.

 

[Happyone]

Hi Steve,
If it turns out to be Alzheimers (which I am praying for you that it is not) - just remember to be there for your sister. Even if you cannot be there physically, keep in touch by phone calls, text and email. We have learnt from personal experience that ALzheimers can easily tear siblings apart, especially if the main body of caring falls to one of the siblings. Remember to talk to each other lots - share your problems, experiences and remember to laugh a lot too!!! Let her shout at you when she needs to and just know that you are there for her. You need each other now.
Make sure you arrange times when you visit for your sister to have time off - she will need it - and you will need her too.
Take care

Trace