whats going to happen are we going to get the support?


Registered User
Sep 19, 2006
bradford west yorkshire
firstly can i say how sorry i am for not visting the site for sometime.but i turn to you now for help .just somebody who can listen and share thier thoughts .
mum as been ill for a number off years the last two years have become such a strain on my dads health hes mum main carer.but also gets help from sociel services but its come to appoint that dad cant cope anymore.i fear for mum life as she often goes missing,walking streets bad weather with hardly any clothes.becoming violent towards dad.also as a bad drinking problem which as seriously got out off hand years ago.she goes missing. supermarket is her favorite place steels alcohol.mainly bottles off cherry.yesterday fianally got caught by store detector.luckly dad as informed the store manager about mum taking without paying.the police where called but not arrest due to her illnes .the problem his dad cant cope with having to give mum 24 hour care.its have such a effect on his health.mum nearly been knocked down by cars so many time due to her falling with been intoxicated. i just dont want mum to end up died due to not having the right care .how do we make sociel servives see that mum need to go into full time care now ..before its to late and a horrid accident happens.anybody got any thought on what to do ?


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Gillianshack,
So sorry to read you upsetting situation. Can you contact the Doctor and get some support for your Dad and Mum?
Have Social Services got a Care Plan set out for your Mum?
There is help available but it is a case of saying enough is enough.
The local Alzheimer's Branch, Helped the Age, Age Concern, The Princess Royal Trust, Crossroads. Are all great for advice and support.
Later on other people with come on line and offer more help and advice.
It does not matter that you have not posted often, the main thing is you realise you need help and that is what you are asking.
I wish you the very best.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Gillian.

The only way I can see of you getting the help you need is through your mother`s GP.

If you go to see the GP, preferably with your father, your mother will be considered at risk and refered to Social Services for an assessment for full time residential care.

This is what I would do, although I have never had to do it. If i`m wrong, hopefully someone else may have more idea.


Registered User
Sep 19, 2006
bradford west yorkshire
thanks christine

thank christine for your kind words .yes we have support form nearly all the ones you listed.its just trying to make sociel servive see that dad cant cope any more mum need to go into full time care now for her own saftey.
to be honest dad not cared right for mum for the last few years,to be honest think she need to go into care ages back he givern up on her hes at the end cant take it anymore.so sad to see but.they are not helping each other been aroung one another anymore .dad often speaks to her.like she scum almost bullies her.and mum just horrid to him to thats why she goes off on her own mood swings dad doesnt help buy not going after her .im so worried that im going to have the news that mum been killed by a car hitting.due to not having the right care.i have rang sociel service this morning just waiting for them to get back to me


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Gillian, I can see how worried you are about your mum, and you are right, she is not safe to be at home.

I hope you've had your call back from SS, and they are doing something to help. If they don't ring back, keep ringing, an insist that this is an emergency. Something needs to be done immediately.

Please let us know.



Registered User
Jan 12, 2008
Dear Gillian

from what I've heard, Skye is right - you need to keep on at Social until they realise it is an emergency and something needs to be done now.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you manage to get something sorted out quickly. Take care.


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Dear Gillian,

I am really sorry to read of your plight, what a terrible situation for you to be in.

I can only echo what other TPer's have said. I sincerely hope that social services take your concerns seriously and act immediately.

Best Wishes, Taffy.