what yo do

worried35

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
4
My aunt is having Alzheimer. She is getting worse everyday. In the current new phase we are passing through now .. everday she gets dressed and she wants to go to her old house that is no more there. I explain for her like 100 times a day that is no more there,she seems to be understanding then a moment later she wants to go again.. no matter what i say or do to distract her ... she keeps requesting the same thing. How to act?
 

Emily M

Registered User
Jan 20, 2015
178
This is quite common I am afraid

Hello worried35

I am sorry to hear about your aunt.

I am afraid this is quite common. Two or three weeks ago my mum was saying that she was not in her own house and was waiting to be taken home. She was at home and had lived there for many years. She was quite distressed about it so I told her that she would be taken home in a day or two. Lately she doesn't mention it so much and seems happier.

Also we had a neighbour with the disease who was worried that he was going to be late back to camp (he had been in the army years before).

It can be very wearing on family when things are repeated over and over again. I think if your aunt is distressed about not being at her former home then I am afraid it is probably better not to tell her the truth. Hopefully the phase will pass.

If she has suddenly got worse it might be worth getting her checked for a bladder infection, etc., as in older people these can cause confusion even if they don't have Alzheimer's.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
The kindest thing to do is to not contradict your aunt but to go along with what she is saying but bring in delaying tactics. That is to say that you'll to go to the house 'tomorrow' but can't go at the moment because ........well, whatever you can think of - it's late now, it's getting dark, the house is being repaired, repainted etc.

As you say, it is forgotten straight away, but can be more reassuring than the truth.

Good luck.
 

worried35

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
4
Thanks alot Emily 4 yr reply

I read sometimes that its better to clarify things for them and sometimes i read that it is better not to. So i dont know which approach to take .... but since clarifying doesnt make any difference . I guess distracting or calming down is the only option
Hello worried35
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
My mother went through a long phase of wanting to go home to her parents' house, which did not even exist any more. They had been dead 30+ and 50+ years, but she was way back in the past.

What I used to do was tell her that I couldn't take her today, because (e.g.)
The roads were very busy/icy
The main road was closed because of an accident
My car was being serviced
The trains were on strike
Etc etc - anything that sounded good, really.
- 'but maybe we could go tomorrow.'

This invariably pacified her for the moment, and because her short term memory was already very bad, she never remembered that I'd said much the same before.
Perhaps something similar would work with your aunt?
 

worried35

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
4
Thanks Witzend ... ll try that in tomorrow's round

Now she is a v happy person as nothing happened .. but i know tomorrow it will start all o er again.
I lock the door wz a key cause all the time i m scared she goes out wzout me paying attention.. she would get lost. She never paid attention to that but today she knew it and that made the situation worse and made her more irritated. But i cant risk that.
QUOTE=Witzend;1051381]My mother went through a long phase of wanting to go home to her parents' house, which did not even exist any more. They had been dead 30+ and 50+ years, but she was way back in the past.

What I used to do was tell her that I couldn't take her today, because (e.g.)
The roads were very busy/icy
The main road was closed because of an accident
My car was being serviced
The trains were on strike
Etc etc - anything that sounded good, really.
- 'but maybe we could go tomorrow.'

This invariably pacified her for the moment, and because her short term memory was already very bad, she never remembered that I'd said much the same before.
Perhaps something similar would work with your aunt?[/QUOTE]