What would you do?

JMU

Registered User
Feb 17, 2012
155
0
Cornwall
I seem to be posting a lot at the moment for advice!
I came home from work Friday, after my father had spent his first day in day care at the local care home. It had been quite a nice day for me, with some of the worry taken off, that I knew where he was and people were looking after him.
However, I walked in to the house to find my Father sitting comfortably in the front room with the cats, and a ring on in the kitchen pumping out gas in to the room.
The house stank of it. I don't know how long it had been on, but I rushed straight through, switched it off, and opened the doors and windows. My father didn't have a clue it was on. I don't know how long he had been at home- the care home were dropping him off at the end of the day, before I got home, but I'm guessing he came in and decided to make himself a cup of tea, but couldn't remember how.
My question is, what do I do about the gas? I know if I bought him an electric kettle, or even went so far as to buy an electric cooker, the change would completely throw him, and he's practically dependant on his cups of tea.
I should probably also mention that I have, on several occasions, found boxes of matches amongst my father's belongings, and little piles of ash on the kitchen sink.
I don't want to curtail his abilities any further. On the day he is at day care they have offered to hold on to him until I finish work which is fine, but that is just one day. What about the rest of the week?
Do I let this go as a one off? Do I switch the gas right off and leave him without? I don't know how far I should take this. People have told me I need to let him do his own thing and back off worrying- I've just been diagnosed myself with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but I really don't feel like I am blowing his behaviour out of proportions. What would other people do?
 

Lulabelle

Registered User
Jul 2, 2012
303
0
South West France
Hi JMU
This is a difficult situation for you but, if it were me, I would just turn off the gas when you are not in the house. If he didn't remember turning it on, he obviously wasn't in that much need of a cuppa. Why give yourself further anxiety?
Lulabelle
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
0
Kent
People have told me I need to let him do his own thing and back off worrying-
Well you don`t want your father to gas himself. What a stupid thing to say.

It sounds to me your father is at risk if you leave him with access to gas. I`m not sure of your living arrangements. Do you live with your father? If so could you leave him a cold lunch and make a hot meal in the evening.

If you do not live with your father, I would consult with Social Services about making the house safe for him to live in alone.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
0
74
Durham
If he likes his cups of tea could you leave him a thermos flask every day then he won't have to worry about heating the water up
 
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Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
0
72
Dundee
What a worry for you. I know it's possible to isolate the gas supply as our own social worker talked about that at one time. To be honest my grasp of technology isn't such that I really know what that means!

There are two fact sheets which mention something like that. You have to read through them as gas is mentioned somewhere in the body of each of them. The second link I've put is as link which is contained in the first fact sheet. x

http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=145

http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=109
 

Nebiroth

Registered User
Aug 20, 2006
3,510
0
People have told me I need to let him do his own thing and back off worrying- I've just been diagnosed myself with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, but I really don't feel like I am blowing his behaviour out of proportions. What would other people do?

Take no notice - "people" are often remarkably stupid or simply lack compehension of the situation.

It is obvious that your dad cannot be allowed to "do his own thing" is this involves gassing himself or blowing up the house when he fills the kitchen with gas and then lights a match. One would not let a child "do their own thing" if it included sticking their hands into an open fire. This is why we have fireguards.

My only suggestion would be to see if the gas cooker can be fitted with child-proof locks so that the gas rings cannot be turned on. Other than that the only option is to have the gas supply to the cooker cut off.

It seems that your dad has reached that very difficult stage where household tasks present real dangers. Electric kettles pose the problem of being switched on when empty although some have safety cutouts. Microwaving hot drinks can be dangerous because a drink that is hot on the outside may be boiling inside, and boil over when stirred or burn when drunk.

This is asusming your dad could cope with a change to an electric kettle/microwave, which may not be the case.

One solution might be for someone to provide him with a thermos of hot drinks, but again, people with dementia tend to forget new ways of doing things and keep on falling back into the old grooves and then getting even those wrong.
 
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ggma

Registered User
Feb 18, 2012
1,126
0
North Staffordshire
We had to remove the gas fire from Mum's house, and the electric cooker. We kept the house warm by leaving the heating on a low setting all the time, and used a microwave to cook. Mum did manage with an electric kettle for a little time, but then they do not turn themselves off if the lid is not on, so that had to go. She could not recognise a flask, so that did not work.

If your Dad can not remember how to opperate a gas cooker, and from what you say he can not, he is not only a high risk to himself but also to his neighbours if there is an explosion. I can not believe as said above that people are advising you to let him do his own thing, what a huge risk.

What you are doing is trying to keep your Dad safe for as long as possible, so that means removing everyday things that can cause a serious accident. Mum always loved her tea and coffee, so we would make these for her every time we called (4 times a day) but in between we left glasses of juice/water in the house, and she did drink these.

Can you arrange for your Dad to have a carer call and make him a drink whilst you are at work at lunch time etc? It is important to keep up the fluids, and usually SS will assess to do this.
 

jude50

Registered User
Dec 28, 2011
2,446
0
Cardiff
I too had to turn off the electic cooker at the mains switch when Mum was trying to cook dried lentils on a baking tray in the oven for the cats to eat (I have no idea where this came from) and leave things on the top boiling away but for a while she was still able to make a cup of tea. Luckily as she progressed she didn't go to make a cup but I had to do things like put her tablets away onto a high shelf she couldn't reach but she still tried to feed the cats bananas. Everytime something cropped up I tried to deal with it but i too worried about the what ifs

Jude
 

JMU

Registered User
Feb 17, 2012
155
0
Cornwall
Thanks for the posts.
I do live with my Dad, but work full time so am out of the house during the day five days a week.
I do cook his evening meals for him when I get home, but he fails to remember that and I have frequently found him trying to cope by himself, with some truly weird results (the worst was frozen peas in a cat dish inside a saucepan of water under the grill). He does have a temporary service coming in to make sure he eats his lunch while I am at work, but they are not really designed to cope with people with dementia, and the service only lasts for six weeks. I don't know what's going to happen after that. One problem is he doesn't know when he has eaten and is constantly expecting the next meal. I have also noticed food disappearing from the freezer, and, on one occasion my own packed lunch for work. I'm not too sure if this is his doing, or confusion on the part of the care workers.
It's difficult, because it is just the two of us at home, and people really don't understand what he's like day to day. I feel that I need to keep an eye on him all the time, but then I have family members and others telling me I need to take time to myself. Fine, but if I do there is no one else willing or able to step in, so what am I supposed to do? I really don't want to give my entire life over to this, which is what seems to have happened.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. The thermos idea is one I may try to give a go, as long as he doesn't decide I'm depriving him of something else he has a right to.
 

Chemmy

Registered User
Nov 7, 2011
7,589
0
Yorkshire
My mum ended up unconscious on the floor (found by a neighbour) because she left the cooker on, unlit.

I contacted social services who sent round a local charity who did a safety check, and a device was fixed on the wall above the cooker which cut off the supply if gas was detected. That was back in 2004 so I'm sure there are more sophisticated options around now.

This recent thread might be useful
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,703
0
Wiltshire
Until you decide how you want to proceed with regards to the cooker, the fastest way to deal with the problem is to take the knobs off the cooker and hide them, or take them with you.

Maybe for during the day you could leave some finger food for your dad to "graze" on particularly if he doesn't remember that he has eaten. I know in my mum's care home that the finger food was a real treat for everyone and for some reason they associated it with being a picnic or a party. They would serve up a few sandwiches, some mini sausage rolls, or a mini pork pie cut into 4, some crisps, and some fruit or a piece of cake.

Fiona