What will they forget next?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kimmysue, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. Kimmysue

    Kimmysue New member

    May 30, 2019
    4
    I live in USA, so I apologize in advance if my terms seem off. I care for both my elderly parents, both with dementia, ages 89 and 88. They live in their own home. I live nearby.

    My dad is hard of hearing, and has not been able to use the telephone in10+ years. He cannot hear the doorbell ring, nor the phone ring.

    My mom has had significant trouble dialing the phone recently and it seems to have just suddenly worsened, making me worried that she could not call for help. I even have her practicing calling my cellular phone when I am at their house, so we can keep that skill.....but she is failing nearly every time we practice.

    Now she has forgotten how to use the microwave oven, which makes feeding them more difficult. I normally would bring leftovers to their house from my family dinner the night before, and mom would heat them up for their dinner the next evening. I went a month without my leftovers being touched, so now I and my brother are only bringing in restaurant food, hot and ready-to-eat.

    I guess what my question is.....what is the next thing coming? Is there a common list of skills that disappear in some order? No cooking, not even warming up food, no telephone (laundry is questionable).......what is the next thing they forget?
     
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,142
    Not really an answer to your question.
    Your fathers deafness, it might be worth contacting your local Deaf Society, they may have ideas, as to how to get his attention, to the door bell, etc.
    Mother and the phone, a large button one with pre-settable speed dial buttons. Programme your number under a button carrying your photo. All mother has to do to speak to you, is press your picture. (Now at 3am for the fourth time of answering, don't blame me!)
    There will come a time when neither of them will know who you are, or why you are there.

    Bod
    PS Welcome, there are very many here who know what you are going through. So no question is a silly one, and may help someone else.
     
  3. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,069
    Female
    Chester
    The issue with dementia is that it follows no pattern, and as each bit of the brain is damaged it follows that the function that controlled is impaired.

    The bit that makes sense to me is a tall book shelf and books can fall off the shelf at random so some from the top and some from the bottom, so you never know which skill or memory is going to go next. And sometimes the brain seems to rewire itself and a lost skill comes back.
     
  4. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    978
    No definitive answer, I'm afraid. Each person follows a different pattern. With my mother-in-law over about 2 years,she lost capacity to plan and prepare meals first. Then the phone, then how to use the washing machine. Eventually she couldn't learn anything new at all.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,267
    Female
    South coast
    Im afraid that when you are talking about dementia constant losing of skills is the name of the game.
    My OH hasnt been able to use a phone, microwave or oven for a couple of years, although he can still use the kettle and make a hot drink and he still knows how to use his android tablet (although he has certainly forgotten some of the functions). Recently he has forgotten how to use the shower and I now have to shower him.

    Eventually, I know that he will forget how to dress himself, what a toilet is, how to walk and how to use cutlery, but there is no way of knowing when or in what order.
     
  6. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    211
    My mum can still use a phone but not the microwave or cooker so we organise a hot meal for her everyday, we either go out to a pub or take something round to heat up which we them eat with her. We've bought a very simple remote controller for the TVs with just a few clearly labelled buttons which she is enjoying using and have just installed the Internet at her house so we can use a camera door bell and adjust her heating.

    It's a case of fire fighting each loss of capacity as it happens, totally unpredictable!
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,381
    Kent
  8. Sarahdun

    Sarahdun Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    392
    While it is true that everyone is different I have found a fairly common pattern to be forgetting how to use appliances first, followed later by forgetting how to dress and eventually do personal care. I have found the guide to the seven stages of Alzheimer’s quite accurate in our case.
     

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