What to say and what to do...

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by SmogTheCat, Jun 9, 2006.

  1. SmogTheCat

    SmogTheCat Registered User

    Sep 1, 2005
    45
    Italy
    Hello to everybody,
    my Mum and I are very confused about Antonietta situation.
    We know that is Alzheimer fault but we need some advises about what to say and what to do to Antonietta when we visit her at nursing home.
    We visit her a couple of times a week for about one hour each time.
    If I visit her alone, she talk a little with me then she says "You have to drive a lot to go home. Let's go, it's late... go to your Mum" and take me to the door.
    When I visit her with my Mum (generally we go together) she talk only with her or with me. I bet she isn't able to speak with to two or more people at the same time. But this is not a problem, I know it's Alzheimer fault.
    The problem is that since 3 or 4 weeks she is telling no-sense things and we don't know how to reply to her strange questions...
    Other people told us she is angry and lots of time she ask to go home.
    I remember when she was at home, sometimes she asked the same time "I want to go home":confused:
    I noticed she remember facts about some times ago, for example she is asking a lot about her Mum, her Dad, her old house and village where she lived before married my Grandfather...
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Have you tried kind like changing the conversation ,when she ask about going home could you say what was your home like ? ask her open
    Question like what , how , did, so it leads to question that she may open up & talk about her past in what happen what was it like , so your listening going in to a journey in to her past , as you ask more open question , I do this with my mum


    My son is called Anthony my mum call him AntoniettO , never heard it called Antonietta it sound lovely
     
  3. SmogTheCat

    SmogTheCat Registered User

    Sep 1, 2005
    45
    Italy
    Thanks for tour advices.
    Sometimes I tried to ask her "where is your house? How it is" and she told me "I don't remember. I want to go home to see my house because I don't remember how it is"
    So... what can I reply when she told that? :confused:


    Her real name is "Antonia" but everybody has always called her "Antonietta" (like "little Antonia") and I always called her "Anonietta Gnadmother"
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #4 Margarita, Jun 9, 2006
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2006




    could you say .......As soon as you remember tell me, because I don’t remember also so don’t know how to get there , oh dear I do have a bad memory , lets go for a walk & maybe we remember together , did you have lots of boyfriends before you married granddad ? or did you go dancing a lot or maybe mum remember what the house was like ? maybe she like us & can't remeber also , Maybe one night when your sleeping your have a dream about it & you can tell us what it was like
     

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