I think I have just done all the don’ts on the list - my husband has taken himself off to bed at 6:20pm, refused to have dinner (currently being cooked) and I am too fed up to try and be reasonable and understanding. We only had the Alzheimer’s diagnosis a month ago though we have been living with it for the best part of 3 years.
I am not looking for sympathy but how do other people cope? I am so fed up with our life - we have been married for 46 years and it has been good. But all I can think now is the unknown number of years I am going to have to live this life as a carer.
It certainly gets rather daunting when you finally get a diagnosis after three years of what I call the destructive years. Those preceding years are when you know something is wrong but not really sure what is going on, the difficult moods and the irrational responses, the accusations and the outbursts.
I have always said that from now on, your life will be like looking through a tunnel, knowing that there should be a light at the end but no matter how hard you look, it simply isn’t there.
I use to daydream about all the travels I was going to do, have plans of where I would go and what I would do.
That used to keep me going for ages, just thinking about a future that one day I might actually manage. COVID intervened and made a proper mess of that, and now war in Ukraine is rolling the narrative along too.
But it was never easy. I suffered anger, resentment and finally depression. We have got through eight years since diagnosis and haven’t killed each other yet. At the moment we are in a good place and have had peace for some months so all you can do is dodge the bullets, develop a crocodile skin (impervious to about everything) and take care of yourself.