What to expect when you become a carer in the uk


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
chip, read this with interest.

At one stage I fitted in to this catagory:
Almost one million people spend over 50 hours each week caring for someone.
However it was the conclusion that upset me most:

Caring can be a very strenuous and demanding vocation that many people have bestowed upon them. As time passes in this role, you may think you can rely on certain individuals and bodies of authority to have an understanding of what for many is a selfless sacrifice of many years of their lives. However you will eventually learn that such understanding is extremely sparse as you continue to carry out your duties with little or no support. You may also find this biting lack of regard or compassion will be particularly acute when you are no longer a carer, and at a point where you feel you are teetering on the edge of the worst this society can throw at you.
Why do they spend so much money commissioning reports like this and really do nothing, absolutely nothing, to help carers.

It's not money we need but genuine empathy.

Thanks for the link.


Registered User
Mar 21, 2003
Thanks Chip.
I also read with interest.

Just hate those reports that highlight all the problems and don't provide any solutions. So many negatives on one page it was painful. I'm all for research but please give us some hope.

It did have a link to a good site Caring for carers

Some interesting information on the above site e.g

The main elements of working with families and carers are:

  • Helping with problem solving
  • Improving communication
  • At times, allowing carers to have reduced contact without feeling guilty
  • Encouraging the expansion of carers' networks
  • To help at times with the lowering of expectations

Reading that 'What to Expect When You Become a Carer in the UK' made me realise why this site is getting more popular. Most carers need to find support themselves, it doesn't come to you.

Kindest regards and thanks


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Excuse me for saying I have not read all the literature.

However, as a carer I do feel the worst part is sorting out the nitty gritty of who really cares and who just talks about it.

Local services are varied. As carers we have to be very pushy and inquisitive to find out just what is available. As a carer 24/7 who has the time for all that??

We do really need simple straight forward details of what is being offered and more importantly available support to help us to get it. From where I stand, there is very little.

Also, if one has savings in a bank account, as a carer we can expect nothing.

For carers the future does appear to be very very bleak.

Not sure if this contributes anything to the thread but I do hope you get valuable replies.



Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Its all true including the 65% get ill. My Dad got no help at home exept for me and he ended up ill in hospital, and now its me having to go to hospital with only getting 10hrs a week help and all the fighting i had to do.And even getting respite was hard.To me it was like reading my story over the past 5 years.

linda a

Registered User
Jun 13, 2006
Let's do something!

I'm Linda's daughter, Laura, nearly 19 and put in the position of having to consider full time care for my dad. I'm trying to hold down school, work and all the other normal things teenagers do while also trying to hold my mum up and somehow cope in this awful situation. I've just read the article and thought why cant we do something?
Yes there are 5.7million of us out there (and the rest) we only need a small percentage of us to speak out before the government have to notice! How can we make ourselves heard?
I've just had to write letters to SS and our local mp to try and get ourselves heard, Mum was told that they werent really sure which 'box' my letter would fit into.
I am not a statistic, I am me, my own person and if i dont fit into there boxes then tough, it's about time they realised that we're not all the same, we're all different people who have lives, hobbies, families...everything. We have feelings too!


Registered User
Mar 21, 2003
Hi Linda,

I'm not recruiting here BTW and I do not work for the society. Just a volunteer and someone who likes make people aware.

If you are interested in how the society is campaigning take a look at the following section of the website:


If you want to take it a step further the alzheimers society may be interested in your story, particulary the press office.


As I said, not trying to recruit, it just sounds like you'd specifically like to make a difference.

Kind Regards and good luck with your difficult situation.