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What to expect next......

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Redsue, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Redsue

    Redsue Registered User

    Oct 16, 2012
    Like many others I often read others posts to try and workout what is 'normal' and learn from other people's experiences. My dad has been in a fantastic care home for the last 18 months and I go a visit a 'new dad' - someone who swears, is sometimes aggressive and walks for hours the complete opposite of the mellow, loving dad that brought me up. Anyway he had an infection last week, has detiorated rapidly so much so I didn't think he'd see this weekend, but he's now stable - whatever that means!! The home don't think he will regain his mobility as he's very frail and sleeping a lot, and he's now on thickened food to help him swallow. He's got a vacant look and rarely focuses on someone, is laying with his legs splayed plus has continuous hiccups. The home have said the latter could be due to a minor stroke and often seen in late stage dementia.

    Has anyone else experienced continuous hiccups? I thought dad already had late stage dementia so what's next could he stay in this none mobile state for a long time or likely to decline further quite quickly? As someone else said in a post want this to end as my 'new dad' was hard enough but this is cruel and he'll be hating every minute:(
  2. marsaday

    marsaday Registered User

    Mar 2, 2012
    Hi Redsue,

    I noticed you hadn't had a reply yet. Your question is a very common one. If your Dad has an infection it could be that he will improve once it is under control. But I know how you feel. It's the not knowing if this downturn is the final one. If only someone could answer this we could at least prepare ourselves eh?

    About 9 months ago my Mum (diagnosed prob alz about 3-4 years) lost her mobility and has been sitting in a chair ever since. She can still bear a little weight to be transferred so is not yet bed bound. I always wonder how long she could be in this semi-immobile state and then, if she becomes bed-bound, how long that will last? I thought she wouldn't see christmas but she continues to eat well and has had no recent infections so who knows?

    It sounds as if your dad's downturn has been very sudden but that can happen with vascular dementia. Maybe others will be along soon to give their thoughts.
  3. marsaday

    marsaday Registered User

    Mar 2, 2012
    Sorry forgot to say my Mum went through a very sleepy stage when she could barely focus but after a few months came out of it. In her case it may have been diazepam that she was prescribed for agitation but the sleepiness continued long after they stopped that. I really thought she wasn't going to come round again. Was your dad getting anything for his behaviour before this downturn? If so and he's still on it you could ask for it to be stopped to see if that 'wakes' him up (not necessarily a good thing if they have agitation issues!)
  4. Redsue

    Redsue Registered User

    Oct 16, 2012
    Thanks - spoke to care home manager today and they are going to stop or reduce his dementia meds (sodium valproate) and see if that helps. Doesn't appear to be any trend in dementia so you have a good idea what to expect which makes it even harder. Good news is he's not in any pain
  5. Chook

    Chook Registered User

    Jun 14, 2013
    I just wanted to say that Mum had a large stroke recently and all she wanted to do for 2 months was sleep. She slept all day and all night, only waking to take herself to the toilet (very bizarre as she was completely asleep the rest of the time). A doctor told me that was incredibly common with someone who has had a stroke. Her brain has slowly healed, although not right back to what it was pre-stroke but she got her mobility back and started to speak again. I'm not saying this will or wont happen with your dad but it might explain the tiredness and hopefully he may get a bit better again.

    I'm thinking of you, it's such a heartbreaking time x
  6. Redsue

    Redsue Registered User

    Oct 16, 2012
    The heartache is over

    Just thought i'd let you know that my dad passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning. Part of me is grateful that he's now in peace and away from this cruel disease but the other part is heartbroken that it all happened so quickly and i really didn't see it coming.
  7. LeedsLass

    LeedsLass Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    Heartfelt condolences

    Hi redsue so sorry to hear about your dad but my mum is going through a similar process and we all (including her) wish it was over. It is very sad losing a loved one but made all the worse by this terrible illness. I hope you can take comfort from the fact he is at peace and is not going through it any more. Try and concentrate on the happy memories you have. X
  8. Chook

    Chook Registered User

    Jun 14, 2013
    I'm so sorry to hear this. Even if you know it's coming it's such a shock and heartbreaking. Hugs x x
  9. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    Radcliffe on Trent
    It absolutely is always a shock, however much you think you are prepared you never are really. Sending you my deepest sympathy Redsue and wishing you peace.
  10. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    So sorry for your loss Redsue, no matter how ill someone has been it is still the sad thought that you can never see them again. Wishing you strength to get through these first few weeks when your grief will be so raw.
  11. boomerang

    boomerang Registered User

    Jun 13, 2012
    very sorry to hear about your Dad he is in peace now and watching over you as he would have when you was a child .
  12. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Redsue, I am so sorry for your loss xx

  13. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    So very sorry Redsue. It's still a shock for you even though he was so poorly...
  14. Sweet

    Sweet Registered User

    Jun 16, 2014
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Redsue.

    My mum had been in her nursing home for a year... managing vas d...Then contracted a chest infection and died in a week 2 weeks ago..was a shock after the 3 and half years she'd been ill.

    I take comfort in that she had a lovely life before this disease and is at peace now.

    Wishing you peace too X

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