1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Vivienne3

    Vivienne3 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2010
    57
    Cheshire
    My husband is only 52 and has been diagnosed with AD for over a year now but may have suffered longer. The AD specialist says it is progressing very quickly due to him being younger. We have tried Aricept and now on Excelon but I am not sure if they are working unless you take him off them.
    The worse part for me is that he is very aware of his deteriotion and this is torture for him as he is aware how he is becoming more confused over the weeks and is relient on carers taking him out due to his inability to deal with money and sometimes quick conversation. He was very upset the other week when he couldn;t join in a conversation with his friends as he couldn't follow it. This is making him feel suicidal/low/frightened.
    I am on my own as his family don't like to see him go through this and therefore avoid him.
    The specialist doctor has said that he will section him when the time comes and he will go on a physch locked unit ward. What a terrible thing to happen.
    How do you deal with the pain of listening to someone who knows what is happening to them?
    :(
     
  2. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Vivienne,

    I'm sorry to hear about what you and your husband are going through, and sorry that you appear to have so very little support.

    Have you been in touch with your local AS? You can find local services here

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121

    or you can ring the helpline on 0845 300 0336

    If your husband is feeling low either of you might also think about contacting the Samaritans. You can find more information here

    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showpost.php?p=449707&postcount=17

    That doesn't sound very helpful :(. It sounds more like a threat. Yes there are instances when people with dementia are taken into assessments wards, and sometimes this is done under section, but this is only in certain circumstances.
     
  3. MrsP

    MrsP Registered User

    Mar 19, 2005
    115
    Hi Vivienne

    There is no easy way to go through this stage, and I certainly found this the most difficult part of Dad's journey. Dad is now in late stage which is something I couldn't bear to think about initially, but now we are here he is no longer distressed. It is still very painful for us of course but less so than when he was aware of his condition and deterioration.

    I wish I could say that it gets easier, or that the process can be made more bearable but I certainly found some comfort in the fact that even though he is not himself, he is certainly not in the terrible place he once was.

    Take care.

    Kate x.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,125
    Kent
    Hello Vivienne

    I have found something similar to Kate/ Mrs. P. My husband was also very aware and kept asking what was happening to his brain. It was a very difficult time.

    He is much more contented now the condition has progressed to a later stage. It`s not what I would have wished for but at least there is some peace and contentment for both of us.

    I am surprised your husband`s doctor felt justified in predicting the progression of your husband`s illness. It doesn`t happen in the same way to everyone and I doubt the majority have to be sectioned.

    What might happen is your husband may need a secure unit to keep him safe if he begins to wander and is in danger of getting lost or at risk of becoming involved in a road traffic accident.
    But the only security in these units is a keypad controlled main door so residents are prevented from going walkabout.

    Please accept the support TP has to offer. We all understand your anxieties even if our situations are different.
     
  5. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    7,188
    South Ribble
    I cried a lot when mum was at that stage and I suppose it helped release my feelings of sadness and distress. Like sylvia's husband mum has gone into a more accepting stage and we can laugh at times which are times I treasure. Thinking of you xx
     
  6. Vivienne3

    Vivienne3 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2010
    57
    Cheshire
    thank you for your comments, it does help knowing that the torture of awareness does fade away which is a blessing on one way. x
     
  7. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,223
    Hello Vivienne3, I just wanted to say that the doctor was being a bit premature with these remarks, not to say needlessly scary.

    Your husband may never need sectioning, nor admission to any scary 'locked ward'. :cool:

    I wonder if your husband would consider looking into Talking Point himself. There are people with young onset dementia signed up to Talking Point as well as lots of carers, relatives and former carers so it's a broad membership.

    Also, no-one ever needs to worry about being particularly 'on the ball' with responses. You can respond when you have time or inclination.
    Just a thought.
    Kind regards
     

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