What to do?

[Bay21]

In December I moved my Dad into an extra care setting as he was in a privately rented flat and, amongst other things, the landlord passed on complaints that he was making loud noises at night eg heavy footsteps & cupboard banging.

Since moving he is spending all day in bed, he was before but I was visiting daily and getting him up, the carers attending him (from what I have read) have tried to get him up but he refuses and offers many excuses as to why he should stay in bed. His food and drink intake has dropped significantly. I wrote a note asking that regardless of what Dad says please just make him food & drinks, the majority seem to ask him and if he says no then they don't. I appreciate there is only so much they can do.

Twice since moving, to my knowledge, Dad has wet the bed, both times discovered and dealt with by myself. He had never done this before so has come as a bit of a shock and more so the fact he doesn't seem to mind or care.

One of the carers came in while I was visiting yesterday and said that Dad has been heard up at night while the overnight carer is trying to sleep, walking around his flat. He has the lounge directly below him and the staff accommodation is slightly off to the side but the carer said he could be heard in the night. I asked if he was making a nuisance of himself or making any other noises and they said no, he is just walking around.

I really don't know what to do. I was thinking I could speak to the GP and ask for some sleeping tablets but Im concerned this will knock him out completely and he'll have more accidents in terms of wetting the bed.

Dad has declined quite rapidly and I think I made the wrong move thinking it would be the best for him

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Bay21 . I would say talking to your Dad's GP would be a good start. It sounds as though your Dad is depressed. I seem to be forever suggesting a low dose of Mirtazapine on here. It can be very effective for anxiety, depression and also sleep pattern (also often increases appetite). Worth asking his doctor about, as it may do the trick.

 

[Bay21]

Hello @Bay21 . I would say talking to your Dad's GP would be a good start. It sounds as though your Dad is depressed. I seem to be forever suggesting a low dose of Mirtazapine on here. It can be very effective for anxiety, depression and also sleep pattern (also often increases appetite). Worth asking his doctor about, as it may do the trick.

Thank you for your reply. I am cautious about antidepressants as Dad took them before and went a bit wired and was saying he had too much energy and was running up down the house. I'll mention it to the GP, perhaps he can try a different dose/tablet

 

[jennifer1967]

it takes a good 2 weeks to get the benefit so its worth persevering . there are all different types such as the one lemonbalm recommended that a low dose might just lift the mood