My wife is in middle stages of vascular variant alzheimer's. Today, I took her to the hairdresser's for a cut, colour and shampoo. They called and said she was shouting. Result, her hair wasn't cut as normal. When I want her to eat, she gets up mid-meal and claims she needs to brush her teeth. That's usually when she goes up and spits out some of the food. I've started giving her only mushy food, some in soups but some in solids. Tonight, she insisted on not wearing incontinence pants even though she wets the bed. I finally had to pull her pajama bottoms off and force her to wear the incontinance pants. She went into one nursing home but they released her after 3 days. No reason given but I suspect she refused to eat. After the nursing home incident, I have started a program of using various carers (to get her used to different people looking after her) and taking her to a charity cafe used by other dementia sufferers and their carers. Next would be visiting a nursing home for coffee and then, later, day care. I don't think I have that much patience. What to do?