Help needed please. Dad has vascular dementia and is usually cared for by mum at home. He has deteriorated rapidly over the last month. Approx. three wks ago mum fell and is now having terrible sciatic/groin pain requiring zimmer and meaning she cant look after dad at home. He is becoming increasingly frustrated, continually pacing, agitated and difficult to calm. We rang emergency social worker yesterday who is arranging for a vist and assessment tomorrow morning.
The problem is that my mum has had enough and feels she cant cope anymore. She is already on antidepressants and has had the patience of a saint for years without any support (their choice as dad always refused). Dad is so difficult to manage, we are unable to calm him at all. he refuses antibiotics in case he has a urine infection. We got respite for dad yesterday but when taken there he refused to stay and ran off and managed to find his way home. I am so worried about what to do tomorrow if SW says they will just start a care package. I live 250 miles away and the thought of driving off and leaving them fills me with dread. If social worker offers a care package tomorrow and I say I'm taking mum home with me for a week then what would happen to dad? It sounds cruel but as he refuses respite I feel in some ways the only option is take mum away and hope for drastic action by Social Services. Any advice please.
The problem is that my mum has had enough and feels she cant cope anymore. She is already on antidepressants and has had the patience of a saint for years without any support (their choice as dad always refused). Dad is so difficult to manage, we are unable to calm him at all. he refuses antibiotics in case he has a urine infection. We got respite for dad yesterday but when taken there he refused to stay and ran off and managed to find his way home. I am so worried about what to do tomorrow if SW says they will just start a care package. I live 250 miles away and the thought of driving off and leaving them fills me with dread. If social worker offers a care package tomorrow and I say I'm taking mum home with me for a week then what would happen to dad? It sounds cruel but as he refuses respite I feel in some ways the only option is take mum away and hope for drastic action by Social Services. Any advice please.