I have not posted for a long time, always thinking things might get better after the initial crises of a year or so ago. Mum was diagnosed 4 years ago, in a home now for a year, frail but mobile. She has always been independent and liked getting her own way. Has never 'accepted' diagnosis of Alzhemers's nor that she could not look after herself any more. She refused all help ( and still does ). Hates living in a 'prison'. I have tried everything in the 'careing communication' advise link. Tried to distract ( no way ), tried not to reason, argue nor confront. Just can't manage it. What can I say if still she asks time and time again for the evidence about what she did 'wrong', ( not against the law to go out without shoes etc, one day she was at the bank paying bills and the next day put in prison ).Culminating in that I am such a xxxx of a daughter who did not get a lawyer to stand up to the doctors. That is what she truly believes and I fully understand that and how scary it all is but I can say nothing which 'helps' except leave the room. She sees through all 'love lies' and the reply 'we just want to see that you are safe' is a big mistake as that is the last think she wants. There is also the guilt kicking in because she is not staying with me, being looked after by me. I tried this and it was a disaster. This is not meant to be a sob story - but I just want to have any advise with how to deal with these specific questions in case there is someone out there with the same problem. I am trying to be cool headed but just couldn't take any more today. Just writing this down has helped and I know there is no logic to be applied here. I probably should stop hoping that she might be happy one day and just accept the situation.