My b-in-l lets my 70 year old sister stay in bed, not necessarily sleeping, until after noon time most days. He doesn't give her the prescribed pills until she gets out of bed. He rarely takes her anywhere, unless it's to his sister's home so that he can shop, cut grass, etc., and my sister only watches TV there. She no longer speaks, other than the odd few words. B in L refuses to take my sister to Alz. meetings, refuses help in the home (qualifies to have someone in every morning to shower and dress my sister), doesn't recognize that terribly swollen legs and feet need attention. Has spoken of reducing water pills to help reduce incontinence, actually stopped cholesterol pills, stomach pills for a few weeks, in an effort to ease Alzheimer symptoms! Has let her gain over 3 stone in weight. She can no longer get out of any easy chair or sofa unaided. Once I saw him tug her up from the sofa so sharply (after giving her a sleeping pill 20 minutes earlier), that she fell straight to the floor on her knees. He then complained that he wouldn't be able to pick her up as she weighed too much. But, he showers her every day, cleans up when she has terrible diarrhea, combs her hair, dresses her nicely, does all the cooking (doesn't clean much), does all the laundry, which there is a lot of as she wets the bed most nights. As you see, two very different sides to the coin. I've pleaded with him, tried to reason with him, tried gentle suggestions, tried being very direct with him. It seems all to no avail. (I live overseas). Everyone I know has pleaded with him too. I'm at the stage of beginning to think of approaching Social Services. But is this what my sister would want? I don't know what to do any more.