1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

What to do for the best

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by MWJ, Mar 31, 2015.

  1. MWJ

    MWJ Registered User

    Jul 17, 2014
    3
    My mother is deteriorating rapidly. She is cared for primarily by her husband, he is struggling, but will not admit it. A social worker visited yesterday who offered some good support, however dad refused any of it. How do I get him to accept help for him and my mother before they reach crisis point?
     
  2. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Perhaps you could point out that if your Mum has a crisis the care could be taken out of his hands, and that could result in your Mum having to be placed in a CH/NH. It's difficult as your Dad probably feels he is letting your Mum down.

    Take care

    Lyn T
     
  3. MWJ

    MWJ Registered User

    Jul 17, 2014
    3
    Thanks Lyn T. It is as you say difficult, and I do understand how he is feeling, but he is burying his head in the sand, and my mam is not getting the help she needs. Will have a chat with him about what could happen if he doesn't accept help/support. She was in hospital recently with a broken wrist sustained during a "struggle" so I fear they are heading for crisis point.
     
  4. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Maybe gently point out that sadly your mam will get worse and that she really deserves to get some help in place now while it will be easier for her to accept and understand it (if this is the case).

    If it will help, also mention the scare about potential huge welfare cuts after the election and that he needs to accept help now or they may miss out?

    Remind him that his health and well-being is really important too and that 24/7 caring is just too much for anyone.

    Above all - to just give it a try for a while, and if it doesn't work out then so be it. Good luck.
     
  5. DawnB52

    DawnB52 Registered User

    Jul 27, 2014
    11
    Lytham St.Annes
    How about taking very small steps, I.e. Careres just coming in the morning,helping mum with breakfast and getting ready for the day, a trial basis, you can always stop it
     

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