• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

What to do for the best

MWJ

Registered User
Jul 17, 2014
3
My mother is deteriorating rapidly. She is cared for primarily by her husband, he is struggling, but will not admit it. A social worker visited yesterday who offered some good support, however dad refused any of it. How do I get him to accept help for him and my mother before they reach crisis point?
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Perhaps you could point out that if your Mum has a crisis the care could be taken out of his hands, and that could result in your Mum having to be placed in a CH/NH. It's difficult as your Dad probably feels he is letting your Mum down.

Take care

Lyn T
 

MWJ

Registered User
Jul 17, 2014
3
Perhaps you could point out that if your Mum has a crisis the care could be taken out of his hands, and that could result in your Mum having to be placed in a CH/NH. It's difficult as your Dad probably feels he is letting your Mum down.

Take care

Lyn T
Thanks Lyn T. It is as you say difficult, and I do understand how he is feeling, but he is burying his head in the sand, and my mam is not getting the help she needs. Will have a chat with him about what could happen if he doesn't accept help/support. She was in hospital recently with a broken wrist sustained during a "struggle" so I fear they are heading for crisis point.
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
Maybe gently point out that sadly your mam will get worse and that she really deserves to get some help in place now while it will be easier for her to accept and understand it (if this is the case).

If it will help, also mention the scare about potential huge welfare cuts after the election and that he needs to accept help now or they may miss out?

Remind him that his health and well-being is really important too and that 24/7 caring is just too much for anyone.

Above all - to just give it a try for a while, and if it doesn't work out then so be it. Good luck.
 

DawnB52

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
11
Lytham St.Annes
My mother is deteriorating rapidly. She is cared for primarily by her husband, he is struggling, but will not admit it. A social worker visited yesterday who offered some good support, however dad refused any of it. How do I get him to accept help for him and my mother before they reach crisis point?
How about taking very small steps, I.e. Careres just coming in the morning,helping mum with breakfast and getting ready for the day, a trial basis, you can always stop it