1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. pumpkin66

    pumpkin66 New member

    May 16, 2019
    5
    Hi I’m a new member, my mum has vascular dementia, diagnosed last year (2018) but has had noticeable symptoms for about 4 years. I live next door to her, which is great in one way but I do not get any peace. She just wants me to stay with her all the time. She comes round at 7.30 each day and won’t go home till 10.30ish at night. I can’t even go to the loo without her coming to see where I am ... says I’ve abandoned her ‍♀️
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,839
    N Ireland
    Hello @pumpkin66, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done.

    Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,237
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi @pumpkin66 snd welcome to the forum.

    I can imagine that it’s a double edged sword being next door to your mum. Do you think she would go to a day centre? It would give you some respite if she agreed.
     
  4. pumpkin66

    pumpkin66 New member

    May 16, 2019
    5
     
  5. pumpkin66

    pumpkin66 New member

    May 16, 2019
    5
    Hi.shes always been a very quiet and private person.. I’ve tried to persuade her to go but she just says no, I have a sister and brother, my sister will take her to hers for tea but mum just keeps saying she needs to get back and as soon as she’s home she’s knocking on my door ( my sister lives very close too ) my brother doesn’t bother with her at all. I just feel it’s all left to me they just carry on with their lives and I’m just left sorting everything out.
     
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,725
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry I can't really offer anything practical. My partner has someone from a care agency who comes round for tea and cake, they call it befriending or sitting service, though they have become good buddies over the last year or so. I don't know if your mum would accept that either, but I want to say I know how hard it can be to cope alone when family are too busy to help.
     
  7. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    919
    Are you saying that your mum has a key and let's herself in whether you are there or not? Or are you letting her in because she knocks at the door?
     

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