Hello there!
So this would be my first time posting here. Im a little hesitant joining in for fear of saying something that may identify me to someone in my family who may or may not use this forum. I couldn't possibly know for sure if they do. But a healthy dose of paranoia keeps us all eternally vigilant. So I will try and be as vague as possible.
I'm a young male who cares full time for his mother who has dementia. A job that I'm often told I'm not capable of doing, but happily left to do anyway. The sort of thing that causes family tensions. But thats it's own long story. Rest assured that I do the job to the best of my ability and am fully committed to doing this and seeing it through to the end.
I guess the reason I'm here is to ask questions that will help me gauge where we are at in the process. Lately I've been feeling like things are changing with my mothers mental and physical state and I'm wondering if we are approaching the end game or how far off that might be?
She was diagnosed maybe a couple of years ago? I find it hard to keep a timeline of events in my head. But she'd definitely been suffering the effects of dementia for maybe four or five years prior to her diagnosis. Currently she's doubly incontinent and unable to clean herself up. She might attempt to make herself a cup of tea, but she can't really remember all the necessary steps. She certainly couldn't prepare herself a meal. Her mobility is not great. She has that characteristic shuffle and a short walk to the shops and back is enough to exhaust her to the point of falling over. She has trouble sitting down and she has trouble standing up without assistance. She's showing signs of dysphagia and sometimes struggles to swallow her food.
Mentally she's not in great shape either. She reads a lot but I don't think she's able to extract much meaning from the words anymore. She's unsociable and barely attempts to communicate with people, although she still displays a strong empathy towards others she perceives as suffering in some way and also maintains a good sense of humour. Conversation is limit and often non sensical. Her ability to remember who I am is also declining.
My mother isn't on any form of medication. But reading through these forums it seems that a lot of people are. I find that disconcerting. Is this something I should look into perhaps? I asked the doctor about medication before, but they seemed disinclined towards prescribing anything. To be honest I've had cause to doubt hers doctors involvement lately and I'm wondering if maybe I should seek an alternative.
Im not sure if thats much information for someone to give me an opinion on. But as I say, I don't want to say anything that may identify to people who know me who may or may not be looking here. The politics of family is an ugly business that I have no time for.
I'm a realist. I know that come the end things will be bad. But if I'm not prepared physically, and more importantly, mentally, then I might fail. So to all of you who are experienced in this business feel free to offer an opinion on where we are at, what I can expect, signs to look out for. Give me the hard truths, cause the more I know the better prepared I can be.
if anyone has questions then feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer.
So this would be my first time posting here. Im a little hesitant joining in for fear of saying something that may identify me to someone in my family who may or may not use this forum. I couldn't possibly know for sure if they do. But a healthy dose of paranoia keeps us all eternally vigilant. So I will try and be as vague as possible.
I'm a young male who cares full time for his mother who has dementia. A job that I'm often told I'm not capable of doing, but happily left to do anyway. The sort of thing that causes family tensions. But thats it's own long story. Rest assured that I do the job to the best of my ability and am fully committed to doing this and seeing it through to the end.
I guess the reason I'm here is to ask questions that will help me gauge where we are at in the process. Lately I've been feeling like things are changing with my mothers mental and physical state and I'm wondering if we are approaching the end game or how far off that might be?
She was diagnosed maybe a couple of years ago? I find it hard to keep a timeline of events in my head. But she'd definitely been suffering the effects of dementia for maybe four or five years prior to her diagnosis. Currently she's doubly incontinent and unable to clean herself up. She might attempt to make herself a cup of tea, but she can't really remember all the necessary steps. She certainly couldn't prepare herself a meal. Her mobility is not great. She has that characteristic shuffle and a short walk to the shops and back is enough to exhaust her to the point of falling over. She has trouble sitting down and she has trouble standing up without assistance. She's showing signs of dysphagia and sometimes struggles to swallow her food.
Mentally she's not in great shape either. She reads a lot but I don't think she's able to extract much meaning from the words anymore. She's unsociable and barely attempts to communicate with people, although she still displays a strong empathy towards others she perceives as suffering in some way and also maintains a good sense of humour. Conversation is limit and often non sensical. Her ability to remember who I am is also declining.
My mother isn't on any form of medication. But reading through these forums it seems that a lot of people are. I find that disconcerting. Is this something I should look into perhaps? I asked the doctor about medication before, but they seemed disinclined towards prescribing anything. To be honest I've had cause to doubt hers doctors involvement lately and I'm wondering if maybe I should seek an alternative.
Im not sure if thats much information for someone to give me an opinion on. But as I say, I don't want to say anything that may identify to people who know me who may or may not be looking here. The politics of family is an ugly business that I have no time for.
I'm a realist. I know that come the end things will be bad. But if I'm not prepared physically, and more importantly, mentally, then I might fail. So to all of you who are experienced in this business feel free to offer an opinion on where we are at, what I can expect, signs to look out for. Give me the hard truths, cause the more I know the better prepared I can be.
if anyone has questions then feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer.