Hi everyone....
I have a dilemma. Dad is going into respite care for about 10 days next month (I will not bore you with the trouble we've had getting to this stage). Mum is ill herself and needs the break so much. How she has coped this far god only knows. Altruism and love can be a dangerous thing that all I know.
The problem is, when we take dad to the respite home and have to say goodbye for a while, what on earth are we going to tell him. Mum and I have always been so honest with dad; he is a caring lovely man, not aggressive at all. He may or may not pick up on what is happening, just depends on what kind of day he is having. He's coped well with day care, thinking it is a club, so we may well say it is a hotel he is staying in to give mum a rest. But if he gets any idea that it is more than a day or two (its 10 days respite), he may lose that calmness he's had. It's gut renching working out what to say and I guess so many of you have been through this. My thoughts are to be straight with dad and tell him that mum needs a rest, but he will definitely be coming home in a short while, that is, it is temporary and promise that he will be coming home soon.
Just wondered how you dealt with it and do I just have to accept that just for this once truth may not be the best option.
thanks for all your support
Charlie
I have a dilemma. Dad is going into respite care for about 10 days next month (I will not bore you with the trouble we've had getting to this stage). Mum is ill herself and needs the break so much. How she has coped this far god only knows. Altruism and love can be a dangerous thing that all I know.
The problem is, when we take dad to the respite home and have to say goodbye for a while, what on earth are we going to tell him. Mum and I have always been so honest with dad; he is a caring lovely man, not aggressive at all. He may or may not pick up on what is happening, just depends on what kind of day he is having. He's coped well with day care, thinking it is a club, so we may well say it is a hotel he is staying in to give mum a rest. But if he gets any idea that it is more than a day or two (its 10 days respite), he may lose that calmness he's had. It's gut renching working out what to say and I guess so many of you have been through this. My thoughts are to be straight with dad and tell him that mum needs a rest, but he will definitely be coming home in a short while, that is, it is temporary and promise that he will be coming home soon.
Just wondered how you dealt with it and do I just have to accept that just for this once truth may not be the best option.
thanks for all your support
Charlie