Thankyou for your reply. Im sure you are right. I am sitting looking at photos of happier times. I usually do charity walks etc so hopefully they will start up againI found the horrible thoughts faded & happier memories returned after a couple of months @pixie2.
I started volunteering as a way to fill the huge void.
Its nice not to be alone, to have others on here to talk too. Just had a little cry nowIm in a similar situation to you pixie2, the horrible thoughts come and I let them, I have little cry and then tell myself mum wouldn't want me feel like this. Each time this happens it gets a little easier ( just a bit ). Cat27's suggestion of volunteering is something I have considered too but ive only got as far as saying a hello to everyone I see on my daily walk ! - its a work in progress ! My thoughts are with you in this difficult time pixie2, keep strong and small steps .