What now?

[CWR]

My mother passed away at the end of November. I haven't been as tearful as I thought I would be.Sure, I have days that I feel abandoned, but it's not always the case that I am teary. What I feel now is adrift , tho'. Even while looking after mum, I felt pessimistic about my future prospects- being the wrong side of 60, no great savings, a job that doesnt satisfy but not sure any other one
would be any better. But, while looking after mum, all of that was under the surface. My main role was caring for her. With her gone now, I am more at a loss than ever, without that role, difficult tho' it was ,to anchor me. I think it is more the case that mum's death has made me more aware of my underlying feelings, than that it is necessarily related to her. I know I don't want to take any antidepressants. I tried them 2 years ago and felt much worse afterwards.

 

[Yesilkedi]

Have you thought about volunteering? I work in a charity shop 2 afternoons a week and have made some wonderful friends who have been such a support to me in bad times. It's great to get out of the house, have a laugh and forget my troubles for a few hours. It may not be your cup of tea but I am sure there will be something out there which will help and maybe ask your doctor about counselling to help.with your bereavement. Good luck.

 

[Pete1]

Hi @CWR, it's a strange feeling for sure - I didn't cry for many months, although I felt a grief that could destroy you. Mum passing away is a great loss in every respect, and extremely difficult to come to terms with. I would suggest bereavement counselling, it worked for me - I never envisaged myself going through that, and it isn't the panacea but it helps. Make an appointment with your GP and tell them how you feel. It might feel a massive step but it is worth it. All the best.

 

[Kikki21]

@CWR it is a strange feeling that of abandonment indeed. I can relate to it. Much about my movements literally in 2017/18 & the early part of 2019 were to do with my mum. She has been dead for almost 1 year & my life is completely different in so many ways.
I’m still playing catch up. I guess you are too & it’s so much more recent for you.
there are many different types of anti depressant & maybe the ones you were on before weren’t great for you. You do have to accept you need them though.
I had a course of them for 6 mths in 2016 & I felt a lot better on them after a time ( that was another period of severe change)
I would go to your GP & maybe see if counselling might help you.