What next

[Rosebush]

Today I took OH to daycare, it reminded of when I took the children to their first day at school, he was ok till he realised I was not staying so in the end I left when he wasn't looking, they said they would phone if there was a problem, but so far so good soon be time to collect him hope he's in a good mood, I think next week I will take up their offer to collect him and bring him home, might be easier!.Lx

 

[love.dad.but..]

Today I took OH to daycare, it reminded of when I took the children to their first day at school, he was ok till he realised I was not staying so in the end I left when he wasn't looking, they said they would phone if there was a problem, but so far so good soon be time to collect him hope he's in a good mood, I think next week I will take up their offer to collect him and bring him home, might be easier!.Lx

Exactly how I felt with dad unfortunately we tried 3 sessions but he was very agitated even though the AS day care staff were experienced and it had to stop. Transport sounds a good idea to try again unfortunately this would not have worked for dad as he even refused at times to get in the car with me

 

[Duggies-girl]

I have just hit a milestone today - by finally taking his bank card off him. I feel awful about it - but he was spending money he did not have - just on lottery tickets and other rubbish - nothing 'proper'.

Myself and his son have PoA, and we had arranged last year for OH to have a 'pocket money' account which I would keep topped up from the household account. I started topping up £50 per week as spending money, then £60/£70/£80 - today I topped up £100 today, and it is still overdrawn.

His son, who shares PoA with me, and I have decided to ask OH for his 'pocket money' bank card - and I will give him cash in hand pocket money each week and when it is gone it is gone.

He did not seem to understand why I was taking this action - but did not create, and did hand his bank card over. I assured him I cannot use it, as I do not know the pin.

Why then, do I feel so awful at taking this step, when he is completely unconcerned??

I suppose it's because it is another step in this disease.

@maryjoan I understand that. When I scratched those three numbers off the back of dads debit card I felt awful, ashamed and even deceitful although I knew it had to be done.

Yes it's just another step down the road of dementia.

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, everybody collected OH at 3o'clock and he was fine in fact I think he actually enjoyed himself! and I spent most of the day worrying and trying to catch up on jobs and phone calls I can only do when OH is not around, not much of a day off really, but hopefully next week when he goes I'll be more organised and enjoy the pease and quiet. Lx

 

[longlostfan]

Oh my dear, so good to hear from you. So pleased OH in a reasonable mood. Not long until Tuesday. My OH used to say what's next, after every activity, even going to the loo ... I used to feel like saying, well, next up is a dinosaur comes in the back door and eats you up, but being as I am a loving human being, I never did ...Gxx

Oh bless you that dinosaur really made me laugh and I needed that! x

 

[john1939]

@maryjoan I understand that. When I scratched those three numbers off the back of dads debit card I felt awful, ashamed and even deceitful although I knew it had to be done.

Yes it's just another step down the road of dementia.

Hello, been there, done that. Had to eventually take them away as so many were lost I was ashamed to have to keep explaining to the bank.

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, everybody the other day while were taking our dog for a walk OH insisted we go and see the man (he means are eldest son) as he wanted to see what was happening about the car, my son told him it had been sold because he can no longer drive which resulted in OH having a tantrum and stamping his feet like a 2 year old, so now my son phones and asks how the toddler is!, Oh nearly forgot he has stopped wearing his hat and gloves Lx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, took OH to day care today, well that was the plan except when we got there he refused to stay and kept saying why are you doing this to me so in the end they said try again next week but I know it will be the same, inside I was fuming all I wanted was a few hours to myself, not much to ask..So we got the bus home in silence with just the odd grunt, now he's forgotten all about it, just wish I could. All I've got to look forward to is another sleepless night because of the heat! Sorry for the moans. Lx

 

[kindred]

Hi, took OH to day care today, well that was the plan except when we got there he refused to stay and kept saying why are you doing this to me so in the end they said try again next week but I know it will be the same, inside I was fuming all I wanted was a few hours to myself, not much to ask..So we got the bus home in silence with just the odd grunt, now he's forgotten all about it, just wish I could. All I've got to look forward to is another sleepless night because of the heat! Sorry for the moans. Lx

sweetheart, I am so sorry. A few hours seems so little to ask, I know ...please do try again next week. All courage to you Gxxaka kindred

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, everybody, didn't manage to get OH to day care today, I will just have to accept that he won't go, he says it's for old people!, anyway I thought I would take advantage and set him the task of cutting the conifers(chocolate tea pot comes to mind!) we started early to avoid the heat but it took ages as I had to show him what to do, so in the end I did most of it myself so it's still not finished because I couldn't reach the top. Well off to clean the toilet.Lx

 

[kindred]

Hi, everybody, didn't manage to get OH to day care today, I will just have to accept that he won't go, he says it's for old people!, anyway I thought I would take advantage and set him the task of cutting the conifers(chocolate tea pot comes to mind!) we started early to avoid the heat but it took ages as I had to show him what to do, so in the end I did most of it myself so it's still not finished because I couldn't reach the top. Well off to clean the toilet.Lx

I'm so sorry Rosebush, could never get my OH to daycare. You are good woman. Gxx

 

[Rosebush]

I'm so sorry Rosebush, could never get my OH to daycare. You are good woman. Gxx

Hi, about the hedge, I was talking to our new neighbour saying how I had struggled with the hedge and how silly it looked because I couldn't reach some of the high branches and she said don't worry I'll get Jason (her partner) to do it at the weekend, how lovely was that, it really cheered me up.Lx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, Beads sorry your OH is being so difficult about the wedding, but perhaps it's for the best as everyone can relax including you and have a lovely day. Is your OH able to stay at home on his own? I'm asking as my OH can 't be left! Hope you have a lovely day you deserve it. Lx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, everybody, I'm a bit confused at the moment OH has had a really quiet few days, he's still been a bit awkward but not nasty at all ,he's also not mentioned the car or driving, I really don't know what to make of it, his memory is getting worse though and he still doesn't make much sense so having a conversation is difficult I just smile and agree with him(much easier). Well it's time to cook the evening meal no point asking him what he wants because he hasn't a clue. Lxx

 

[Beads]

Hi, everybody, I'm a bit confused at the moment OH has had a really quiet few days, he's still been a bit awkward but not nasty at all ,he's also not mentioned the car or driving, I really don't know what to make of it, his memory is getting worse though and he still doesn't make much sense so having a conversation is difficult I just smile and agree with him(much easier). Well it's time to cook the evening meal no point asking him what he wants because he hasn't a clue. Lxx

Hi @Rosebush dont speak too early you know what happened last time. Hope it continues much easier for you. Whats conversations ? Hope you had a lovely meal. Take care speak soon. Axxx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi, Beads, lovely to hear from you.Afraid only salad for tea as it is so hot. How are things with you?. Forgot to mention we also had a magnam, will have to go to Tesco tomorrow as we have run out. Fingers crossed OH will stay calm but I'm not holding my breath! Take care.Lxx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi everybody, OH is still being really quite nice, where has Mr Nasty gone? even when I had an appointment at the glaucoma clinic on Thursday and the round trip took 5hours( don't ask) he didn't moan much, even when he tripped on the kerb and grazed his arm.Lx

 

[Rosebush]

Hi everybody, today I spent a very satisfying 15 minutes cleaning out the plug hole in the bath, it was then that I realised how sad and pointless my life had become, yesterday we had to buy a new fan the old one just decided to pack up in time for the next hot spell, usually my OH would have put it together but he hadn't a clue where to start, but maybe I'm not as useless as he always made me feel as half an hour later it was up and running - result! Lxx

 

[canary]

Well done about the fan @Rosebush
Its amazing what we discover we can do!

 

[Rosebush]

Hi everybody, OH has an appointment at the memory clinic in the morning and I'm dreading it as he always is very awkward in fact if it wasn't for my eldest son taking us we wouldn't even get there as it is not on a bus route. Haven't told OH yet as he won't remember tomorrow anyway! Lx