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What it takes for family to finally understand?!

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,611
Auckland...... New Zealand
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers mid 2013. She has declined rather quickly and even more so in the past 3 mths.
Mums sisters and brother, and a few other family members rarely visit and see her 2 or 3 times a year if that.
Two of her siblings refuse to beleive she has AD, and it's just old age. The others agree but don't realise how bad it is, despite telling them. Often commenting on that she just repeats herself on the phone, and otherwise seems fine. On any social occasion it is always me that makes sure Mum has clean clothes on or a new outfit. Hair done and nails painted, and of course everyone remarks on how great she is looking. Little do they know, if it was up to Mum she would look like a bag lady.

2 weeks ago, my husband, children and I managed to go on holiday for a week, and my sister took Mum & Dad away to her holiday home.
The strange surroundings ( despite being there several times before) and being out of routine has had a dramatic effect on Mum.
Amongst other ramblings, she asked my sister who her grandchildrens mother was, ( my children). On returning home she did not recognise her own house and asked where she was sleeping and where the loo was.
She is OK now after a few days back, but just in case she has had urine/blood tests done.

It appears that it is this, that has made Mums family sit up and finally take a bit of notice!
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,235
That's often what it takes!
The truth being forced upon them.
Hopefully now you'll get more help.

Bod
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
It's amazing how well some people with even quite advanced Dementia can hide it, and family members who don't see them very often have no idea. Now your sister has seen for herself, she'll understand, and that'll be a relief for you.
 

susy

Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
801
North East
This really does show how much good care you give your mum. Bless you for being there all this time. Hopefully now you will have more help, even if it is only someone to rant off to and them believe you when you are having a bad day xxx
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
Always surprises me when people assume that because mum is dressed smart, has clean hair and hands, she has achieved all this by herself.
 

Hair Twiddler

Registered User
Aug 14, 2012
892
Middle England
Always surprises me when people assume that because mum is dressed smart, has clean hair and hands, she has achieved all this by herself.
IMO - Spot on. It is also reassuring that when mum goes to day care with a grubby, drippy laden jumper (that she has insisted on wearing ) the ladies who look after mum don't bat an eyelid - they have seen it before and understand.

Edit = When I say "seen it before" I don't mean the actual jumper ..... I mean a similar jumper on a prvious week on a different lady... I'm digging a hole here...I'm just going to stop.
 
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Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
3,693
Always surprises me when people assume that because mum is dressed smart, has clean hair and hands, she has achieved all this by herself.
Yep - and its re-inforced by the fact that my Mil will tell folk, in a very convincing manner, about how she styles her own hair, went and bought the outfit she is wearing all by herself, had a shower that morning, etc, etc - anybody unfamiliar with her and her illness would have no trouble believing that she is a very capable lady who looks after herself - when of course, the reality couldn't be more different!