what is this thing you all call support?


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
VCB - it is helpful that you have clarified that you weren't referring to yourself when you made the "can't be bothered to look" reference. Now it would be even more helpful if you could indicate your approximate location and your relationship to the person you are caring for. The former because we have members all over the country who might be able to give you specific direction, the latter because it can be help to see the whole picture. At the very least it's useful to know whether we're talking about England, Scotland, Wales or NI since systems are different everywhere.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
I'm really sorry you took my post as being a "slap in the face" - it certainly wasn't intended to be and I do apologise.

I guess what I'm trying to get across to you (and I know some other posters are asking for the same thing) is some information that will let us help you to access some real help.

If you are happy to just take what you need from the website without revealing anything of your personal situation, that is fine. No-one wants you to do anything other than get the benefits many of us have experienced here on TP.

I wish you every success in finding some real support and I sympathise with your wish to be just told the truth. Unfortunately, "the truth" is something we often don't get - which certainly makes our jobs as Carers more difficult.

Every best wish.


Nellie, i can understand how I misunderstood what I took to be abig slap in the face for not being able then and there to reveal all, as you may call it. I am new to this websight, and I have never vbefore asked for support as i have managed quite well taking care of me and my wifelet, as i have always called her and she has always called me her hubbylet, but there comes a point when you can't put up any longer with all those promises, all those suggestions that may ormay not come from socialservices. They always think you can cope on yourown, as we have done for years now, but eventualy there comes the point when yiou just say 'this is utter rubbish ... why on earthdo you come here and say to us we'll see you next week or whenever ..."

I have done so as many have suggeted, writen down a list of prioritys as i see them, have asked why do we have to put up with so manhy different people coming into our home day after day that i have never met beofre or heard of before. and then i say I cant even understand most of them, so how is my wife supposed to understand them, she is the one with vascualr dementia, not me. and they Are meant to be assisting her.

We live in a villagein Berkshire not in the woods in the back of beyond, but we are still strugling to wonder what we are suposed to do. GP brilliant and understansd our situation. but that's where it finishes bcause we are then in the hands of socialworker, who frnakly my dear doesn't give the damm! She's on work secondment from australia and is planning to move back as soon as she can, so she doen't really care.