My Mum in law aged 88 has Alzheimer's, diagnosed two years ago but now realise she has had it a long time. Following recent falls which we knew nothing about, she was admitted to hospital with severe pelvic pain. Once in hospital, it seemed to disappear. Less than 24 hours post-discharge she was screaming in agony. She was re-admitted to a local community hospital for assessment ( was fine in less than 24 hours) and to sort out her meds. During that time the hospital was astounded to find out she was doubly incontinent and had no short term memory at all. The falls were increasing. She is now in a care home in a bed to assess to ascertain how bad her memory is and what is needed long term.
For us, it's a nightmare. We can only visit once maybe twice a week, we ring every other day. The staff tell us she seems happy and is pottering about, doing activities. She has had one bad fall but that's because she is stubborn and refuses help. They say she is pleasant and chatty but when we ring it is a disaster; she wants to come home, it's horrid, the staff are horrid, nobody helps her, she is lonely and in her room and doesn't come out ..... it goes on and on and on. Intellectually, we know the staff are correct but her pleading and hatred make us so upset and personally I am at the end of my tether. Physically she is well apart from a few long term underlying conditions so she sees no reason to not go home.
I was sobbing when we came off the phone tonight, we know nothing of dementia and trying to find our way through this. And I know she is getting worse but she doesn't. It is the same conversation and she now gets so angry, particularly with me. Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated. It probably seems trivial compared to what many of you have to deal with. Sorry.
For us, it's a nightmare. We can only visit once maybe twice a week, we ring every other day. The staff tell us she seems happy and is pottering about, doing activities. She has had one bad fall but that's because she is stubborn and refuses help. They say she is pleasant and chatty but when we ring it is a disaster; she wants to come home, it's horrid, the staff are horrid, nobody helps her, she is lonely and in her room and doesn't come out ..... it goes on and on and on. Intellectually, we know the staff are correct but her pleading and hatred make us so upset and personally I am at the end of my tether. Physically she is well apart from a few long term underlying conditions so she sees no reason to not go home.
I was sobbing when we came off the phone tonight, we know nothing of dementia and trying to find our way through this. And I know she is getting worse but she doesn't. It is the same conversation and she now gets so angry, particularly with me. Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated. It probably seems trivial compared to what many of you have to deal with. Sorry.
