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What is happening?

Peal 55

New member
Aug 5, 2022
3
0
Hi, this is my first time posting so I'll try and be as clear as possible. My father 77 had an iscemic stroke 7 years ago leaving him immobile in a wheelchair with 2 carers twice a day for personal care. Initially after the stroke my dad (we were very close) was there. He might not be able to walk or talk but the humour and glint and determination were all there. Fast forward to yesterday. I visited him and he did not know who the hell I was. He even asked mum who's that. My mother isn't bothered that this has happened. I feel its the sign of the dementia decline. He obsessed, he is very demanding. If he doesn't get his own way he screams help help. He does not trust me or his wife. He is sleeping more. His behavior has driven the rest of the family away. I am an only child and visit to support mum. I'd be grateful for your thoughts or similar experience. Very isolating currently. Thanks for reading.
 

Acerakis

New member
Aug 4, 2022
5
0
Hi, this is my first time posting so I'll try and be as clear as possible. My father 77 had an iscemic stroke 7 years ago leaving him immobile in a wheelchair with 2 carers twice a day for personal care. Initially after the stroke my dad (we were very close) was there. He might not be able to walk or talk but the humour and glint and determination were all there. Fast forward to yesterday. I visited him and he did not know who the hell I was. He even asked mum who's that. My mother isn't bothered that this has happened. I feel its the sign of the dementia decline. He obsessed, he is very demanding. If he doesn't get his own way he screams help help. He does not trust me or his wife. He is sleeping more. His behavior has driven the rest of the family away. I am an only child and visit to support mum. I'd be grateful for your thoughts or similar experience. Very isolating currently. Thanks for reading.
Unfortunately a very familiar story to many here I think. My own Dad was diagnosed about 2 years ago and it was shocking how quickly it felt he went from just seeming a bit forgetful, to not remembering anything about his hobbies he has spent is life doing, to not understanding basic things like how to use the toilet. It can be very hard when they lash out at us because from their point of view we are trying to get them to do strange things they don't understand any more.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
12,561
0
Southampton
Hi, this is my first time posting so I'll try and be as clear as possible. My father 77 had an iscemic stroke 7 years ago leaving him immobile in a wheelchair with 2 carers twice a day for personal care. Initially after the stroke my dad (we were very close) was there. He might not be able to walk or talk but the humour and glint and determination were all there. Fast forward to yesterday. I visited him and he did not know who the hell I was. He even asked mum who's that. My mother isn't bothered that this has happened. I feel its the sign of the dementia decline. He obsessed, he is very demanding. If he doesn't get his own way he screams help help. He does not trust me or his wife. He is sleeping more. His behavior has driven the rest of the family away. I am an only child and visit to support mum. I'd be grateful for your thoughts or similar experience. Very isolating currently. Thanks for reading.
he doesnt have an infection somewhere maybe chest or uti. this can cause different behaviour and confusion. it may need a talk to the doctor just in case.
 

Yankeeabroad

Registered User
Oct 24, 2021
89
0
It can be a sign of worsening dementia. It happens with my mom and comes and goes. Most often it happens in the afternoon when she starts sundowning. She’s in a care home so if she doesn’t recognise us and is agitated, we leave and visit another day. I can also tell that she doesn’t recognise me on the phone many times, but as she’s a social person I just keep talking because she enjoys it. I try to remember it’s not personal. I do sometimes have to walk away for a few minutes when she is demanding. As long as they’re not in any imminent danger, a quick trip to the garden or kitchen is not going to hurt.

My mom does respond to touch positively (hand holding, foot rubs, face/head massages) when she’s agitated and even when she doesn’t recognise us (this includes my dad sometimes). One particularly bad afternoon I sat her on the couch with my dad. She still didn’t know who he was but said he felt familiar and nice and didn’t want him to leave.

But please do speak to the doctor about any sudden changes as it could also be a sign of infection.
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
2,427
0
Newcastle
Hi @Peal 55 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point our supportive and friendly community. I am sorry to hear about your circumstances but hope that by joining us you will feel less isolated. I am sure that you will get useful suggestions from people who have faced similar issues.