What happens when you cannot get power of attorney?

[Monkey123]

My mum, who i would like to get power of attorney for will not allow me to be her power of attorney for the reason being that she doesn’t believe she has memory issues and so she doesn’t believe in power of attorney.
I know my options are limited but what can I do?

 

[jaymor]

If your Mum won’t sign to allow you to have LPA then you will have to wait until she has lost capacity and apply to the Court of Protection for Deputyship.

 

[SERENA50]

Hi

Could you perhaps tackle it from another angle ? Rather than a focus on her memory issues, which she will deny , how about saying about a 'friend' whose parent found it really useful if she wasn't very well to have someone keep an eye on her bills, just in case is another one perhaps. When you say doesn't believe in power of attorney? is it more she cannot understand what it involves or worries and it is too overwhelming. You could simply it by just saying well if you don't feel like doing a then I can do it for you. I always keep receipts for Dad and make it clear that he has asked me to do something. He still checks his bank statement even though I am not sure he knows what is on there.

Dad sorted his own out three years ago when he started to get into difficulty with bills luckily for us. My friend whose mum lost capacity had to go through the process of deputyship which was lengthy and time consuming but doable. At the time that all happened she would say to us make sure you have a power of attorney as it will make things easier. She has to file reports and keep records etc her mum was taken into a care home as she was found wandering and her partner wasn't able to care for her so slightly different circumstances.

 

[Banjomansmate]

Don’t use memory problems as a reason for donating Power of Attorney! There can be other reasons such as being in hospital after an accident, a fall maybe or an operation or even a stroke.
Does your Mum have friends who could say they were doing one to make things easier for their family later on or “because everyone should have them”.
Get one done for yourself because, quite frankly, everyone should have one in place, then maybe she will do one at the same time. Explain that if she was ever in hospital the Health and Welfare one would mean you could have some input into care decisions.
Of course these reasons are only going to help if you have a good enough relationship that she would want you to have input into her care!

 

[canary]

My mum wouldnt allow POA either, but not because she denied memory problems, but because she thought I was stealing from her (I wasnt), so I had to wait until she lost capacity and I could then apply to the Court of Protection for deputyship (I believe its called guardianship in Scotland). After this I talked about POA to OH, who was developing symptoms and told him that I never wanted him to have to do this for me (I never mentioned that I doubted that he would be able to do it) and I was going to do POA, so did he want to do his too? He was at the stage where if I had something, he wanted one too, so he readily agreed.

We did mirror POAs which included our two children. I had to do it this way as if his POA was different, he would not have gone along with it. It does work however because I know that they will leave their dads POA to me, but if anything happens to me they can step in as OHs attorneys. I also know that if anything happens to me OH will not be capable of being my attorney, but the children can do it. If you feel that in order to get your mum to sign her POA you have to make her your POA, then do it, but simply only send her POA off to be registered and destroy yours afterwards.

 

[Lawson58]

My husband refused to get one done unless I got one too, one that mirrored his.

That might work, if you suggested that it could be a mutual situation.