What happens when the carer becomes ill?


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Hi everyone

My FIL is cared for by his wife but she has a chest infection and so has had to retire to bed with med from the doctor. She is ok with dad staying at home but SS have suggested he go into a local care home for a week for respite which we know full well he will refuse to do as he sees his role as looking after his wife and thinks there is nothing wrong with him.

His wifes family are close by but we live an hour and a half away and as her family for one reason or another are finding it hard to cope what is the best option?
A care package was in place a short while ago when his wife was back from hospital but once they were coping it was stopped and neither of them see the need for it again.

Any ideas or suggestions gratefully received.
thanks in advance



Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Its hard I wonder for a married couple to be separated, I would say respite would be the best idea , but as you say her husband does not want to go , so could you not ring SW ask for someone to pop in a few hours a day to do breakfast diner , say to FIL its for his wife that need help , trun it around from him needing the help to his wife , as she is ill . how would your MIL feel about that ? , a littlie white lie saying its her that needs the help at least that way she can get some rest , also they could get the carer to help with house work


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Alsia,
I would contact the Social worker or Care co-ordinator and explain what is going on and ask for an urgent review. Explain that you are concerned for the health and welfare of both parties; be there when the Social worker( or whoever calls) and work together on FIL to go for respite or to have extra support coming in.
Love Helen