what happens now?

[xx.lauren.xx]

hi
ive posted before about my uncle with dementia and the problems id had with teachers at school-luckily my teachers now understand the situation and have become much more supportive and understanding.however, my uncle seems to have got suddenly a lot worse. now he doesnt want to talk to anyone, he still wont answer his phone and only wants help from his niece in wiltshire (approx 2 hours away) he keeps saying he wants to die and although on anti depressants he doesnt take them and flushes them down the toilet. social services dont understand he seems to be able to put on a smiling face and think of a good story to get rid of them of how well he is coping alone when he isnt and my mum is doing everything for him. His social worker says we have to completley withdraw and leave him to manage alone so social services can see he cant but he is already so thin from not eating i am so worried he wil just die if we do. social services have given us a risk assessment they carried out and it says he is medium to high risk but as he wil not accept help there is little they can do. i understand this but it seems my uncle is just wasting away waiting and hoping to die while nothing is happening- my mum does everything she can for him so do i , but with school and us living 45 mins away its so hard to be there at the click of a finger. we cant just leave him, if we do i know he will die because he has lost so much weight already but are there other options? he has refused sheltered housing and wishes to be left alone to die we dont know where to turn next - has anybody had any similar experiences?
sorry for such a depressing post, hope you are well
love
lauren xx

 

[Jane1]

Hi Lauren, I am so sorry for your post and your sadness and frustration breathes from the page. I have read your posts before and you are obviously young and i admire you for your support to your mum and uncle. don,t you just love it when social services tell you to do the impossible! of course you can't ignore him but equally you are limited as your uncle is declining help. Could you possibly have a word with his G.P and try and get some advice from there or your local Alzheimers office. We had a visit from our local lady and she was brilliant and very supportive. Sorry i can't be of any more help, I wish you all the best x

 

[elaineo2]

dear lauren,let your uncle be the one who decides his future.All the will in the world and all the love in the world won't make him a diferent person.Here i go again!tooo nuch advice.thats my last post in advicetake care chuck.love elainex

 

[Margaret W]

Elaine02, I have tried to post a private message, but your box is overflowing and it won't accept it. Don't want to put it on here. If you would like me to email you privately, I mean via proper email addresses, let me know, I can give you my email address.

Much love

Margaret

 

[xx.lauren.xx]

thank you- for your kind support. Elaine it is very good advice, i am just upset to accept it but despite everything we can do its only my uncle who can decide what he really wants. Also, thank you jane for the information about the local branch- i will definatley look it up because if we could get somebody out to see my uncle or him to go and see them he may have someone else to talk to other than me and my mum and this might help him.
Hope you are all well
love
lauren xx