1. Kawyn

    Kawyn New member

    Dec 9, 2019
    1
    My father who is nearly 91 is now refusing to eat and drink. This is day 5. He was checked out by a Dr yesterday. All other vital med signs are ok but he is becoming increasingly frail. How do we proceed if he's switched off? We don't wish him to be tube fed or distressed. Should we allow nature to take its course and who should we approach for guidance?
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,626
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Kawyn

    You don’t say where your father is living. Is he at home or in a carehome?

    it’s always a worry when people stop eating a drinking and although it could mean he is close to the end sometimes people pick up again. If he is nearing the end then his GP should be able to help ensure as comfortable an end as possible.

    I know my dad’s wishes were to be allowed to pass naturally when the time came but he died suddenly so I’m afraid I don’t have much experience of end of life care. Hopefully someone who does will be along soon and be able to answer your questions.
     
  3. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    1,107
    Hi and welcome to the forum. Perhaps you could give a few more details. There is a lot of experience on the forum and many will have gone through this scenario. Is your father at home, or in hospital or care home? Do you have power of attorney for health? Is he on life support as you say "switched off"

    My mother-in-law was like this in her care home last year. She also had no capacity, so as my husband and I had POA for health, her GP had a discussion with my husband about a care plan for her . When she got to refuse food and drink, he let nature take it's course as she already had many comorbidities and was frail.
     
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,212
    I think you need to respect your Dads wishes. 91 years of age he’s seen & lived a lot, however hard it is for you giving him dignity at this stage is all you can do. x
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,093
    Female
    South coast
    My mum stopped eating and drinking after a fall resulted in a fractured hip. She was living in a care home, so I talked to the manager and mums GP and we were all in agreement that we should just let nature take its course. Mum had previously stopped eating and drinking, but had bounced back. This time, however, she didnt. The GP prescribed a "just in case" box which contained drugs that would be needed for mum to keep her pain-free and comfortable. Because mum was in a care home, not a nursing home, the District Nurses were called to give the medication, first by injection and then by a syringe driver. Mum was kept pain free and passed away peacefully in her care home.
     
  6. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,757
    Dad is nearly 90 and has alzheimers and cancer and he is still eating quite well with small but frequent meals. If he started to refuse to eat or drink then I don't think I could force him to eat.

    I have read on here many posts where people refuse food and drink for some time but then start eating and drinking again after some days. I think food and drink should always be offered but never forced especially at such advanced ages combined with illness.
     

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