What ever next not one but three

[vannesser]

can my life get any worse .
Husband as vascale 4 years in .
Mother was diagnosed in October with vascala and alzheines.
And to to that father has canser of the liver and nothing else can be done for him .
I al so have a younger sister with a lot of mental health issues and is finding it hard to deal with every thing that’s happening to above people . I tell her we just have to take it a day at a time and be there when we needed .
My ho just looks at her and as said what’s all the fuss abought he ok and thay are it’s in hr head I have try’s to tell him but it’s not getting there so I don’t no how I will cope when all things get really bad as he don’t understand know so what then
I feel like screaming but don’t i the oldest and got to deal with this and him xxx

 

[Grannie G]

This is far too much for you to deal with without support @vannesser Have you asked social services for help.

 

[canary]

Oh @vannesser - such a lot to deal with.
I think you are right to just take it a day at a time.
By the way, there is no point in trying to explain to your OH about his problems - as you said, in his head he is OK, even though the reality is quite different. You will never be able to convince him and its just frustrating for you. If you need to do things to help then just get on and dont try and discuss it with him.

 

[LynneMcV]

You have so much to deal with @vannesser - no wonder you feel like screaming.

In your situation I think I would contact my GP to let him know the whole range of stress I was facing and to see if he could signpost me to suitable therapies and support.

I think your sister would benefit from doing the same.

Even if you are the oldest it shouldn't automatically fall on your shoulders to deal with everything and come up with all the answers. As strong as you are in supporting others, you deserve support too.

Occasionally, I used to attend a carers' support group in my area and it really helped to be able to share the load with other carers - even those whose situations were quite different to mine. There were also people available to help put support in place, contact social services etc if they were approached for extra help.

It wasn't something I could attend regularly due to my caring responsibilities (the bulk of my support was by far and large right here on Dementia Talking Point, for which I will forever be grateful) - but the support group did provide a useful outlet for growing frustrations from time to time - there's a lot to be said for tea, sympathy and a friendly face.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

can my life get any worse .
Husband as vascale 4 years in .
Mother was diagnosed in October with vascala and alzheines.
And to to that father has canser of the liver and nothing else can be done for him .
I al so have a younger sister with a lot of mental health issues and is finding it hard to deal with every thing that’s happening to above people . I tell her we just have to take it a day at a time and be there when we needed .
My ho just looks at her and as said what’s all the fuss abought he ok and thay are it’s in hr head I have try’s to tell him but it’s not getting there so I don’t no how I will cope when all things get really bad as he don’t understand know so what then
I feel like screaming but don’t i the oldest and got to deal with this and him xxx

Maybe sister would benefit from some counselling via cancer charity!

I’m hoping you will get the help you need & deserve soon
(((Hugs)))