My Mother,82 has recently been diagnosed as having Vascular Dementia, she is widowed & lives on her own, we are still waiting for results from the memory clinic to find out whether she also has Alzeihmers. The symptoms first started 5years ago , poor memory, repeating herself,confusion. these were always exagerated by taking her out of her ' comfort zone', she lives in Cardiff, my partner & I in Swindon, so if she visited for a weekend, which she did use to do quite regularly, these episodes were always worse. As time progressed she slowly got worse, my sister & I put a lot of this down to just being elderly at first My sister who lives localy was by now calling in daily and in September last year I spent a week with her while my sister went on holiday, the first time that I had managed to spend that amount of time with her in nearly a year. The deterioation was quite shocking, she had convinced herself that she had run out of money , that she owed the banks thousands & was in a state of hysteria & paranoia. I managed to calm her & on my sisters return we had an enduring power of attorney drawn up & arranged with the banks to have all correspondence sent to us, as even the most mundane thing as a bank statement would be the trigger to an 'episode'. We managed to get her to go to her GP, the Dr & all of the surgery have been fantastic , to talk about her 'memory problem' which she would now admit to having, & got a referral to the memory clinic. We got an appointment in February & Mum went with my sister, I don't know how she scored, we have another appointment in May & we hope to get more info then, unfortunatley this visit seems to have made things worse,she is now convinced that 'That Man' is trying to put her in a home , that my sister is in on the conspiracy & that she has run out of money & is being hounded by the banks again. The Phsycologist has prescibed medication(I am not sure what it is , Mum just refers to it as her memory pills) My poor sister has borne the brunt of this, phone calls late at night, or at work, and finds her in various states of distress when she visits. I support as often as I can now visiting & staying as regularly as possible to give my sister a break. We feel that we now need help & support from outside, Mum regularly burns pots & pans & we have trouble ensuring that she takes her medication even with a dosset box, she now has next to no short term memory & borders on a state of permanent paranoia.However if we try to suggest any form of help Mum digs her heels in & insists nothing is wrong. We want her to retain her independance for as long as possible but have real concerns about her safety. We don't know how to go about putting care into place with out upsetting her even more,be very grateful for any suggestions. Apologies for the length of this!