What do our people think about ?


Registered User
Jun 29, 2007
North Wales
Has there been any work done on what those we care for are able to understand but unable to express ?

Dee is usually co-operative with me and accepts what I do as a carer even though she is totally dependent upon me.

But, last night she absolutely refused to have a bath. It is difficult for her to climb into the bath and am trying to solve that problem but this was different - people will come in - don't like that frothy water (1" deep at that time) - don't like that mat (non-slip). She was so firmly against bathing, it suprised me.

Then tucking her in bed, she said she was so sorry. I said: "don't worry, that wasn't you" and Dee agreed: "no, it wasn't was it" clearly wanting to explain something but unable to do so.

So it made me wonder what Dee was trying say and how much she understands about her condition.

Her body has accepted Reminyl and the RMN's have told me today they will ask the doctor to increase the dosage. I explained this to Dee (without mentioning Alzheimers) and she accepted it very calmly without question almost as though she understood.

So what can she understand ?

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
I too wonder what my husband thinks about? He sits for ages just staring into space. I just hope they are lovely thoughts.

I was thinking about you yesterday when I had a request for an easy foolproof cookery book for my grandaughter when she goes to UNI just up the road from you in Bangor.

Linda x


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear Cliff, what a question.

As I have said many times Lionel had such an insight into his condition when he was first diagnosed, and for a couple of years after. (It was probably such a relief to him)

However that was then, this is now. Lionel will not tolerate any personal care in the home. He rants, swears, and thrashes his arms about. When it is all over he is calm, meek as anything. Sometimes he says "sorry" or when the girls tell him he was swearing loudly he will say "not me, it was the other one"

He just lies in his chair and stares out of the window unfocusing. I often wonder what he is thinking.


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Cliff
it is strange how they decide that they will not do a certain thing.
Sometimes it is a shower,sometimes it can be food that they refuse to eat.
Sometimes it can that they do not remember what they have to do,rather than do the wrong thing and feel silly, they refuse
I remember my Peg refusing food,said she couln't eat that,when I fed her she ate it.
She had forgotten how to eat!!
Will we ever know what goes on in their minds?

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
At this stage, I think I know what`s going on in Dhiren`s mind.

He is thinking all the time , how to save money and return to the home of his childhood, where he will be cared for, and taken to some special specialist who will make him better.

He feels the extended family of his childhood will have more clout than I have, he just needs to get there and he will be allright.


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hi Cliff, I have often wondered myself how their behaviour can be so extreme. Tasks that they are so used to doing, then, all of a sudden it's like, no way this is not going to happen. Maybe, I feel it could be to do with confusion and the more they try to comprehend the worst their state becomes, hence, all the excuses. With my mum I think in her confusion that her present thoughts are intertwined with past events and she just simply can't make head nor tail of the situation. I'm probably totally wrong and it's just me trying to make sense of what seems like nonsense. I also feel that Norman made some very valid points. Dee, however did feel the need to say sorry afterwards, maybe, it was a moment of confusion. Take Care. Taffy.

Recent Threads

Members online

Forum statistics

Latest member