What do I do now

Mollygoose

Registered User
Dec 19, 2014
52
Lincolnshire
Mother is 90 she is in late stage dementia ! She is in the over 60 sheltered accomandation so she is safe with wet rooms grab rail etc ! Since Xmas she just wants to stay in bed all day ! Now she won't eat or drink ! I have to spoon feed her what little bit she will take ! She has lost 4stones of weight ! I can't believe how quick she has gone to skin and bones ! Also incontinant ! It's. Cruel way to live ! But there ain't ought else I can do
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,431
Dundee
I'm sorry to read that your mum is so poorly now. As you said she is safe and that's so important. I hope you have some support in caring for her though. It's impossible to do it all yourself. There might come a time when she'll need more than her sheltered flat. I think what you can do now is just be there for her and make sure she has the care she needs. Wishing you strength for the times ahead.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,293
South coast
If things have changed then I think it would be a good idea to contact Adult Services to ask for a needs assessment for her to make sure she has the care she needs. Perhaps she now requires carers in more often.
 

Mollygoose

Registered User
Dec 19, 2014
52
Lincolnshire
I have been around care homes mother was in for 3days but when she was in they just left her food in her room and it would still be there when we went to visit plus she had a fall there they didn't ring to tell me they told me when we went to visit they said she was ok ! I asked how often do you check on then she said every two hrs ! So that's still not good !i work so I can't be a full time carer plus I am 64myself
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,807
Ireland
I have been around care homes mother was in for 3days but when she was in they just left her food in her room and it would still be there when we went to visit plus she had a fall there they didn't ring to tell me they told me when we went to visit they said she was ok ! I asked how often do you check on then she said every two hrs ! So that's still not good !i work so I can't be a full time carer plus I am 64myself
I don't understand the system in your country but is it possible to get full time care for your mum in a nursing home? Can you contact SS? They must be in some way responsible for caring for vulnerable people? Admiral Nurse?

Having said all that, the care resources here are awful, unless one has shares in a gold mine!

You can't be a full time carer. You are doing your best.

Sending you lots of support,

Aisling