As people will know my husband has been in hospital for 6 months with the exception of a 6 week period near the beginning when he came home. On and off he has been saying that he won't be coming home, they won't let him home, he doesn't want to come home and I'll be lucky if I get him home. Most of that I thought was down to apprehension - being scared even. But, there has been a weekly review meeting with him today with the doctor, social worker, occupational therapist, physio and ward staff present. I thought it was a normal weekly review meeting with the doctor but clearly not - and I wasn't invited. It will be my turn tomorrow when I will be seeing the doctor. At least I think that is the only person I will be seeing. I was just going on the ward at tea-time when I bumped into the social worker who advised me that the meeting I knew nothing about had just finished and that it hadn't been a good meeting. My husband had categorically said he didn't want to come home. He gave no reason. He had no idea where else he might like to go. The social worker asked me straight out if anything had been amiss before he was admitted into hopsital for his back. I felt she was asking if our marriage had been on the rocks - perhaps I was being super sensitive but there seemed to have been a change in her attitude towards me. As far as I was aware everything was OK in our marriage. I was asked to find out from him why he didn't want to come home so I asked him a little bit about the meeting. He told me in no uncertain terms and very nastily that he wouldn't be coming home but then said he would try it for a week if I insisted. I just don't recognise him or what he is saying or why. Plans are still in place for him to come home next week but, if I understood rightly, possibly for a week and there would be careful monitoring of him during that time to make sure he was OK being at home with me and if things weren't going well he would return to the ward. Alternatively, if he continues to say during this week that he doesn't want to come home then 'the patient's rights' will be brought into play whatever that might mean. On the one hand I am being told that he is too far gone to even consider a lasting power of attorney and yet they seem prepared to talk 'patient's rights' when it comes to where he lives. I have to keep reminding myself that 6 months ago, with nothing else apparently wrong with him, he was admitted into hospital with one broken vertebra. And we have ended up at this point and I don't know what to do.
love from Sammyb
love from Sammyb