What do I do next


Registered User
May 23, 2008
Hello I am new to this site
My Mother has recently had bouts of becoming confused and it is getting more frequent. More obvious when she does not go out or mix socially, often loses money, door keys and hides these articles. We applied for sheltered housing and was told that she does not meet the criteria. I live 120 miles away and there are no other relatives. Do I contest the verdict or what!! I visit three weekends out of four and am finding no help whatsoever in the community. Bron


Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Dear Bron

Sorry to hear about your mum becoming confused. I think the first port of call is her GP. Perhaps you can start recording the things you notice (cos it is all too easy to forget). Before your mum can receive help she will need a diagnosis and the first step towards this is her GP.

If anyone pops in to see mum during the week when you are not with her, then perhaps you could ask them to record unusual things that they notice about your mum.

Very best wishes



Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
Wigan, Lancs
Hello Bron,

Welcome to TP (Talking Point). You will find a lot of support and some very good advice.

Helen is absolutely right. The GP is the first point of call. If you can't be there when your mum sees the GP it may be worth writing to the GP or ringing him/her prior to the appointment. The GP may not be able to divulge any information about your Mum, but should be able to listen to your concerns. In fact it is a good idea to do this even if you will be present as it is difficult to list a loved one's shortcomings whilst they are sat there listening.

Once you have the diagnosis you can take it from there.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Bron, welcome to TP.

Good advice from Sue, you need a diagnosis before you'll get much help. The GP should refer your mum to a consultant for testing, and (if you're lucky!) a support network should swing into action!

Sheltered housing is not really a recommended option for a person with dementia. For one thing, the warden is there to ensure the smooth running of the place, and for security. He/she does not oversee the welfare of residents, administer medication, etc. They have to be capable of reasonably independent living.

Secondly, the person with dementia might deteriorate quite quickly, and would have to move to a care home. Two moves in a short time would be very confusing and upsetting.

I'd go for the GP first, and see what support you can put in place to make your mum secure.

Let us know how you get on,