What do I do advice please

[Wildflowerlady]

As some of you are aware dads daily carers will cease providing their services to my dad in three weeks time. We are still awaiting news as to exactly what will happen next but I am assuming that its likely/possible that dad will be admitted somewhere to have a full assessment. Dad definitely cannot stay home without carers coming in but given the fact the current company have given notice due to his aggression can they really find another company to agree to providing his care. My sister is hopeful that ASC can arrange different carers and is still talking in terms of perhaps they can sort some out, perhaps adaptions to his bathroom, perhaps he can have a bed in lounge if concerns of him using stairs continues. I am trying to accept that dad needs to be in a CH but its difficult knowing that visits will most likely be impossible or will be very restrictive. I know my sister is really clutching at straws to keep dad home and I found myself today muttering along and virtually agreeing with her thoughts regards trying these things to keep dad in his home a bit longer but its only because its making me feel guilty that I can't offer anything myself care wise to prevent this from happening.
With lockdown now imminent I need to know that if my sister is going into dad in the morning which she does to get him up and give him breakfast does this mean I will no longer be able to visit dad in afternoon. The last time we had lockdown my sister was asked about a week into it to stop going in to dad so as to prevent any further risk to carers picking up the virus. I didn't visit dad inside his home either. My sister around a month later received another call from the care company asking if she could return to help with dad in the morning again so meaning get him up and do his breakfast as they were struggling not only time wise because he insisted they do a full cooked breakfast but also dads temperament wasn't good. I was still dropping dads shopping off for the carer to take in and calling dad daily. Occasionally my dad would come to his door but mostly he didn't and if he did he couldn't understand my not going in and would get upset/angry.
My question is, is my sister classed as a carer or his 'Bubble'? If sister is his 'Bubble' does that mean only one of us can continue going into dad during this next lockdown ?. The care company haven't as yet asked us not to go into dad and given his aggressive behaviour and the fact they are on the last three weeks of providing his care I think its likely they will probably want sister to continue getting dad up and giving him his breakfast.
I want to be able to see my dad as much as possible for the next three weeks if I can but mornings to do his breakfast is not possible. I know if dad goes somewhere for an assessment or to be placed into CH in the three weeks that I won't be able to see dad for quite a while and goodness knows how much he may change and will he forget who I am?. Both sister and I do fear dad will progress further if denied family contact. I don't want to break any laws/rules so can my sister be classed as a carer assuming Care Company still happy for her to go in and I be classed as his 'Bubble'? so that I can at least visit as well whilst he is still in his own home.

 

[MartinWL]

Neither of you needs to be his bubble. It is all very simple. Providing care or assistance to a vulnerable person, where reasonably necessary, is excempt from the restrictions. We don't have the regulations yet that will apply from 5th November but I am assuming they will be similar to previous ones. There never has been a limit on the number of carers entering a house. There could be a dozen different people going in IF there was some reason why that was reasonably necessary. You must be going there to provide care or give assistance of some sort (e.g. cooking his egg bacon sausage mushrooms tomato and black pudding) not a social visit. It must be reasonably necessary, which is hard to judge but it sounds as if in your case lots of care is more than reasonably necessary, it is vital.

A bubble is separate from caring responsibility. If you live alone you can link your household with another, so you get support from your linked household. Nothing to do with care.

In summary, keep on caring. Of course you may wish to consider risks and minimise his contacts to minimise his risk, but that's up to you.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Hi @MartinWL
I do get my dads shopping for him so in theory then that comes under the assistance role as he can't shop for himself. So I can take his shopping in and put away for him and see that he is ok but perhaps limiting the actual time I spend with him but something is better than nothing isn't it.
Today for example dads lunch carer put in his book that he hadn't wanted any lunch or even a drink which is important as dad has a catheter so he had nothing to eat or drink since breakfast. Dad did eventually have some trifle and 2 glasses of Jersey milk that he decided he would have on my visit so I was able to do that for him as he wouldn't bother otherwise. Thanks for helping to clarify as I say dads time at home may be coming to a end very soon and I need to see him as much as I can, his care is and where he will receive it very uncertain now.

 

[MartinWL]

Your dad and mine have things in common, both have a catheter, and both like trifle! I visit weekly and assess what is left in the fridge, what needs throwing away because it was not used whilst in date, and what is needed for the week ahead. I then go shoping for him and fill the fridge. That is all care and assistance to a vulnerable person, my dad has lost his driving licence, there is a bus service of two per day, and he could not cope with doing his own shopping anyway. I also make a mean trifle! I do some of his laundry, a bit of cleaning, collect medication from the pharmacy, compile online requests to his GP if he needs treatment, liaise with people like the district nurses, the audiology department at the hospital, check and order supplies of cateter bags etc, minor repairs, sometimes a bit of gardening, take him to a nice place for a walk, take him for care home visits to his wife, my mother, and cook him a proper dinner one or two nights a week. All these things are in my humble opinion lawful to do during a lockdown as they are all care and assistance to a vulnerable person, and all reasonably necessary. Carers work to a menu plan using ready meals and fresh veg in between my visits.

In the county where my father lives there is a carer support scheme wth a membership card. I always carry it in case a nosey policeman has nothing better to do than question why I am 120 miles from home!

 

[jennifer1967]

if you took away the care you give eg. shopping and even talking to him, would he cope?probable answer is no therefore you need to keep doing what you are doing. its providing the activities of daily living. making sure he eats and drinks is vital to life and his catheter. there is recognition of the mental health which is why there are bubbles. i think you could be seen as both and dont think the care agency will be able to stop you this time especially as they seem to need the family to help with your dads care so i wouldnt worry which category you fall into. cherish every moment with your dad.

 

[canary]

As everyone has said - it is perfectly OK to go to your dads as this comes under the category of providing care.

Just dont use this as a reason why you can do more......

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Thank you everyone I feel more secure in doing what I am doing now as didn't want to get into any trouble. I visited dad today along with some shopping included two trifles as he really likes them and is now eating more of, he had also guzzled half a box of chocolates in a day or two so I picked up another box and put in his cupboard. Dads mood was so so his carer arrived whilst I was there and he refused drink and sausage roll that she warmed up. Dad also refused his pad check but did allow his catheter bag emptying. The carers are obviously quite wary of asking dad to comply too much for fear of him getting annoyed/aggressive so its down to next carer at bedtime to check his pad.
I hope I'm wrong but I spotted a suspicious line in his TV so am hoping he hasn't broken this one too. Sister will check in the morning before getting him up as it was difficult for me to look properly given he was watching his snooker.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Your dad and mine have things in common, both have a catheter, and both like trifle! I visit weekly and assess what is left in the fridge, what needs throwing away because it was not used whilst in date, and what is needed for the week ahead. I then go shoping for him and fill the fridge. That is all care and assistance to a vulnerable person, my dad has lost his driving licence, there is a bus service of two per day, and he could not cope with doing his own shopping anyway. I also make a mean trifle! I do some of his laundry, a bit of cleaning, collect medication from the pharmacy, compile online requests to his GP if he needs treatment, liaise with people like the district nurses, the audiology department at the hospital, check and order supplies of cateter bags etc, minor repairs, sometimes a bit of gardening, take him to a nice place for a walk, take him for care home visits to his wife, my mother, and cook him a proper dinner one or two nights a week. All these things are in my humble opinion lawful to do during a lockdown as they are all care and assistance to a vulnerable person, and all reasonably necessary. Carers work to a menu plan using ready meals and fresh veg in between my visits.

In the county where my father lives there is a carer support scheme wth a membership card. I always carry it in case a nosey policeman has nothing better to do than question why I am 120 miles from home!

Hi @MartinWL
I just had to reply as was in absolute awe of everything you do for your dad and for travelling such a distance so regularly. Its lovely he gets to see your mum with your help. My reply is not in any way to diminish anything that anyone else on here does for their PWD but your reply to me and insight as to what you do totally made me realise what a small amount I actually now do for dad. I am limited in the physical assistance I can actually do for dad as my partner has Parkinson's which means I am his carer now, dad is 86 years and partner is only 9 years younger. I try and visit dad a few times a week but my visits are generally not too long especially if partner is having a bad day. My sister also goes to dad and is in walking distance of his home.
I just wanted to say how very lucky your mum and dad are to have your help you do such a lot. I don't know what else to say beyond that other than thank you for taking what must be very precious time to reply to my post.

 

[MartinWL]

Hi @MartinWL
I just had to reply as was in absolute awe of everything you do for your dad and for travelling such a distance so regularly. Its lovely he gets to see your mum with your help. My reply is not in any way to diminish anything that anyone else on here does for their PWD but your reply to me and insight as to what you do totally made me realise what a small amount I actually now do for dad. I am limited in the physical assistance I can actually do for dad as my partner has Parkinson's which means I am his carer now, dad is 86 years and partner is only 9 years younger. I try and visit dad a few times a week but my visits are generally not too long especially if partner is having a bad day. My sister also goes to dad and is in walking distance of his home.
I just wanted to say how very lucky your mum and dad are to have your help you do such a lot. I don't know what else to say beyond that other than thank you for taking what must be very precious time to reply to my post.

Thanks for the good wishes but actually I am only on care duties about two days a week. For very many carers it is a 7 day full time commitment so much more demanding and exhausting than my task.