What can we do.

[neoblackheart]

Recently and I mean within the last month my grandpa has just gone to the later stages really quick. This happened quickly after a hospital visit. After this visit he requires us by his side all day and night. There are 2 of us and cycle every 12 hours. He doesn't sleep and doesn't eat. We even have a hard time getting him to drink. He talks constantly and if you try and do anything not related to him he gets extremely upset and calls you until you pay attention. He has lost around 10lbs in 2 weeks. We are so tired. Both of us are running on fumes and if we try and do ANYTHING not related to him like eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, or even have a conversation he just won't have that and will start yelling at us. He also now Can't really move as much as he could for some reason.

What can we do? Try and ask the doctor for a sedative or something? Sorry for any mistakes on mobile.

 

[margherita]

Hi @neoblackheart ,
medication may help him ( and you) to have some rest, so I think you should ask the doctor for it.
I am also wondering if you could take into consideration moving him into a nursing home. The last stages of dementia are difficult to cope with at home, both physically and emotionally.

 

[canary]

Hello @neoblackheart and welcome to DTP

You didnt say why he has been in hospital, but pain, infection, aneasthetic and even hospital itself can massively progress dementia.

I too think that medication to help his anxiety and calm him down may well help. The doctor may suggest something like mirtazapine which is an antidepressant, but also helps sleep.

Unfortunately, people with dementia reach a stage where everything has to be about them because they become unable to see anything from anyone elses view=point, or indeed realise that other people have needs too. You may have reached the point where he needs a whole team of people working in shifts to look after him

 

[neoblackheart]

Hello @neoblackheart and welcome to DTP

You didnt say why he has been in hospital, but pain, infection, aneasthetic and even hospital itself can massively progress dementia.

I too think that medication to help his anxiety and calm him down may well help. The doctor may suggest something like mirtazapine which is an antidepressant, but also helps sleep.

Unfortunately, people with dementia reach a stage where everything has to be about them because they become unable to see anything from anyone elses view=point, or indeed realise that other people have needs too. You may have reached the point where he needs a whole team of people working in shifts to look after him

He was in the hospital originally because he had a blood infection. That has mostly been taken care of.

 

[canary]

He was in the hospital originally because he had a blood infection. That has mostly been taken care of.

Ah, that would explain the massive progression of dementia.
Mum was never the same after she ended up in hospital with a chest infection

 

[neoblackheart]

It's 3 am here and he woke me up asking if the horses have been rode. We have never had horses.

 

[Old Flopsy]

I had that- my OH said perhaps we are spending too much on these horses so I just reassured him that we could afford it- we have never had horses! You see these things are so real to the person with dementia- no point in contradicting him- just go along with it even though you know it's not true.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Meds may help with his mood/onstant demands. But a care home with a team of people to look after him 24/7 is what he needs.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @neoblackheart
a warm welcome to DTP

I'm concerned that you say your grandpa won't sleep or eat and is hardly drinking ... you need him checked over by a doctor, maybe a Speech and Language Therapist too as they will look at your grandpa's swallow and whether he needs foods prepared in a certain way so they're easy to swallow

I'm guessing you are in the US (because of the time difference) so it may be more difficult for you, than in the UK, to look into getting more support for your family eg home care visits or residential care, to take some of the pressure off the 2 of you

 

[neoblackheart]

hello @neoblackheart
a warm welcome to DTP

I'm concerned that you say your grandpa won't sleep or eat and is hardly drinking ... you need him checked over by a doctor, maybe a Speech and Language Therapist too as they will look at your grandpa's swallow and whether he needs foods prepared in a certain way so they're easy to swallow

I'm guessing you are in the US (because of the time difference) so it may be more difficult for you, than in the UK, to look into getting more support for your family eg home care visits or residential care, to take some of the pressure off the 2 of you

I am in the us yes. Home care visits are a thing but a nursing home is unfortunately very expensive at around 100k a year. And his health insurance does not cover it.