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What can I do now?

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
OH is currently in NHS regional hospital having fallen in Care Home, broken his hip, had operation, recovered but virtually bed bound. Hospital want to discharge him back to Care Home soon as possible. Care Home don't want him back until/unless he is mobile. Hospital say they have done all they can and that as OH's lack of cognition (compounded by the loss of hearing aid between CH and hospital) means that he cannot respond to physiotherapy, he no longer has medical problems and is therefore no longer their responsibility.

I have asked where he is supposed to go, which was met with a shrug and a vague mention of a transfer to an elderly care ward in the fairly local Community Hospital. Alternatively, I should look into finding a Care or Nursing Home who will accept him. Now OH's Home which is LA run, is recognised as the best Home in the County, it is within 300yds of my home, it has had zero cases of Covid. The staff are wonderful and have become friends. I am sure that if OH were to return there he would come on by leaps and bounds.

What can I do? Who could I contact for help?
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,689
Could you prevail on the care home to have him back and try some intensive physiotherapy with him, maybe privately? Is it also worth trying to get a new hearing aid sorted, surely the audiology department where he had the lost one fitted would have the details to set up a new one for him. I can hear very little without mine and if I lost them wouldn't be able to follow any instructions easily and that is without the dementia.
I guess though if the home doesn't take cases that need more nursing you may need to look elsewhere.
I hope others with more experience will be along shortly.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,089
Dorset
I imagine if your OH is in a LA Care home then the LA is paying his fees in which case it must be up to them to arrange further care for him.
The Banjoman had the same problem after he fell and broke his hip in his Care Home and refused/was unable to interact with the hospital physiotherapist, thankfully his home was prepared to have him back and although not a Nursing Home they cared for him for the three months until he died. It may depend on what level of care your OH’s home can cope with and it may be that now he will need a Nursing Home rather than a Care home.
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
It must sound as if I am making up a story, but the Audiologist from whom we bought the hearing aids (approx £1000 each) has gone bust and retired due to Covid and the NHS Audiology Dept are not making house/home calls because of Covid. Similarly, pre Covid, an NHS Physio used to visit the home regularly to see individual residents and update staff on what was required to continue the therapy. None of the staff are trained physios.
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
Matters have come to a head today - 1st a call from a nurse at the Hospital to say that a new Social Worker has been appointed for OH and that she will visit him in Hospital this am to assess him and liaise with his Care Home. Then a later call from hospital to tell me not to visit as a place has become available in the Rehab Ward of the local Community Hospital and OH will be taken there by Ambulance late afternoon. I asked her to ensure that the personal amplifier supplied by the Audiology Dept went with him as it has made such a difference to OH in the last two days. So far so good...........
Then the new SW rang to reiterate this good news and dropped a bombshell. In her opinion and that of the Doctors, OH is NOT going to improve enough in terms of mobility to be able to return to his wonderful Care Home, who are now deemed unable to meet his complex needs. Instead he will have a short stay in the Community Hospital until a permanent place can be found for him in a Nursing Home. Four NHs in the County currently have vacancies as they have been, until this week, closed to new admissions during the pandemic. I cannot visit any of them but apparently some have a video tour which I could see.
I'm putting this here to sort my thoughts as the hour approaches when I will have to phone our Daughters with this dire news.
Firstly, I am annoyed that all this has been arranged and presented as a fait a complete without reference to me as OH's next of kin and POA. 2ndly I am heartbroken that his Care Home, where I fought tooth and nail to get him a place, who promised to hold his room for him and where he has been so popular, settled and content, appears to have abandoned him. (I know it is protocols and rules, but feels like losing friends). I have just paid his nearly £4000 fees for September, but suppose that my last visit will be when I collect his chair, TV, photos and other personal effects.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,391
South coast
Im sorry @Wifenotcarer , thats a bitter blow, but if his care home wont accept him back (and they did say that they couldnt if he wasnt mobile), then there is not a lot you can do.

You have 4 Nursing homes to choose from. Go and look at them from the outside and see how you could get to them. Have a look online and you can phone up the homes and speak to the manager and ask them about anything that concerns you. Ask around and see what people say.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
I suspect this is all about staffing and budgets.
Someone who cannot walk will need two staff not one.
I bet the good home would love to have your OH back but simply do not have the staff resource to do it, but one of the reasons it is such a good home is it’s ability to recognise its own limitations.
I would agree with @canary , so at least If you do the research early you will be able to voice an informed opinion on what is on offer.
I feel so sorry for you, it would be very difficult without Covid, and must be causing you so much stress.
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
Thanks Canary and Weasell. You echo the words of my Daughters, who have said that I should be grateful that DH has had 14 months of great care in the Care Home which = The right place at the right time. Circumstances have changed, we have to accept that and find a new 'Right Place' for this time. I have been making this all about my own distress and ability/inability to accept change, when DH's needs and safety should be the primary consideration.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
I would say with ‘the great care home ‘ being at the end of your road, you have the best reason in the world for your distress .
I would be getting a tooth guard to stop me grinding my teeth at night.

Wishing you well, especially over the next few weeks, which I would imagine will be traumatic for the whole family.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
One other thought!
One offer was the elderly care ward in a community hospital?
So this would not be permanent?
So is there any chance of him regaining mobility if he has an extra ten weeks to do so?
Because then on discharge he could go to the ‘good home’
I think I would be discovering the ‘rules’ around the placement.
And also the likelihood of his walking again ? why isn’t he walking operation not successful or dementia?
Risks of this idea
The places in the other homes may have gone.
He will return to the good home, only manage to walk for six months then the problem will start again?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,391
South coast
Unfortunately, it is a sad fact that many "great care homes" stay that way because when the person with dementia gets to a certain point in their dementia they will give notice. The care home said right at the beginning of his hospital stay that they could not accept him back with no mobility, so I suspect that this is one of their key points and it would have been inevitable that eventually, as his dementia progressed, that he would have reached the stage when they could no longer cope. Its just unfortunate that you have reached that point sooner than you perhaps expected.

Try and let it go. One of the nursing homes might turn out to be wonderful, too.
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
Quick Update. OH now in the Community Hospital where the promised intensive physio has been unsuccessful. This has been because of his Dementia rather than a physical problem. I have had 3 visits and have stayed for the whole 45 mins. each time, but only once has he opened his eyes and given me a smile and a nod. I knew he had been deteriorating during the long months of Lockdown but it is shocking to see him as a shadow of his former self. He looks very old and frail, although his wound from the operation has healed beautifully and he is now off the strong painkillers.

He has been accepted for a room in a Nursing Home, only a couple of miles away, with, all things being equal, a move there planned for this Friday.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
It’s nice you were able to experience the community hospital so you know every single thing has been done to aid his recovery!
Its sad to hear about the deteriorating health.
Wishing you well with the move.
It would be nice to hear how you are getting on when he has settled in?
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
308
Central Scotland
Update. Things moved quickly and OH was transferred from Community Hospital to Nursing Home on Friday 18th. Had a call to say he had arrived and was fine, ate a hearty lunch and was now having a nap. Later another call from a Carer on the night shift to say OH very unwell - blood pressure and temperature sky high. Did I want them to make him comfortable and see how he was in the morning or call the ambulance? Thankfully I opted for ambulance, paramedics arrived and thought he had sepsis so taken immediately to A & E, intravenous antibiotics, saline drip - the works. admitted to acute ward and hospital phoned us to say come immediately which 2 daughters and I did at 5am. He has been there since, with all 3 of us allowed unrestricted visiting including overnight. OH drifting in and out of consciousness. Consultant will speak to us tomorrow, but the only Doctor on at the weekend took us to the relatives room this afternoon and made it plain that OH is now on palliative care only, that he will not survive this and various organs are now shutting down. He has only a few days left. We will take it in turns to sit with him.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,391
South coast
I am so sorry @Wifenotcarer
My OH had sepsis, but fortunately survived. It is a shock as it seems to come out of the blue. Please look after yourself during this time of limbo
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,790
69
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read your news. Im
So glad you can be with him at this most difficult time. Wishing you strength.