1. RobK

    RobK Registered User

    Jul 31, 2003
    16
    Blackpool, Lancs
    Just wanted to share with you the experiences of this last weekend. My father 81 spent a short spell in hospital and came out catheterised pending an operation. No consideration or assessment was made of his ability to cope on his own at home as a consequence we, his two children were left to look after changing and emptying bags and overseeing the correct use of them. Neither of us were shown how to do this by the hospital and nor was my father discharged with any supply of additional equipment, which apparently he should have been. After 24 hours it became apparent that he could not cope on his own and would need additional care which neither of us could provide. So it was that we had to spend Sunday looking for a care home which could and would accept him at short notice. Having found one we then had to cope with the trauma of persuading him that we had no other option and that he could not cope with the situation in any other way. His GP's only offer of help was a sick note to get us out of having to work so that we could support his decision to remain at home. Even though he had AD he is still considered organised enough to make his own decisions on his personal care. He was successfully admitted to a care home at 1pm on Monday just in time for us to get back to our work and we can only hope now that the operation he is waiting for is not too long coming and that the home will prove comfortable enough for him and suited to his needs. Only time will tell. How grateful we are to the staff of the hospital for helping us to make this life changing decision in such a hurry. I only hope that no one else has to face this position although I somehow know that it will not be an isolated incident.

    Rob.
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Rob, how awful for you, but sadly not uncommon I'm afraid. I do hope things are working out now. Please keep us informed. Love, She. XX
     
  3. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    His treatment is nothing short of disgraceful. Sadly though it is all too familiar. Problem is we are all so knackered just coping wiith the situation we have no strength left to voice our feelings and to let the world know whats going on.

    And the even more worrying thing is that its not only AD sufferers who are going through this but how many other groups?

    I do hope he will settle and you can all get through this latest trauma.

    Good luck
    Kriss
     
  4. RobK

    RobK Registered User

    Jul 31, 2003
    16
    Blackpool, Lancs
    Great support

    Thanks for the supportive messages. So right about being too exhausted to complain, how I wanted to voice my feelings with the hospital only to feel that it would be a waste of time and energy which would probably not result in anything positive anyway.
     
  5. JoJo

    JoJo Registered User

    Sep 25, 2003
    38
    Shropshire
    Rob

    Sorry here about your dad's experience. I know the majority of staff are dedicated, hard working and underpaid but the NHS leaves a lot to be desired.

    When my dad went into hospital last year for a heart op (before Alz was officially diagnosed but he was 'being investigated') I had the misfortune to come across the most obnoxious consultant I have ever met. the ward had been told by me and my mum that dad was under investigation and couldn't understand a lot and the consultant initially spoke to him in a way he couldn't understand and then patronised him totally when dad said he couldn't understand.

    I was fuming and he came very close to being clocked one! On complaining to the hospital we were told 'oh he has a very brusque manner. But he is an excellent doctor'

    I think more money needs to be put into training hospital, medical staff etc to care for people with dementia. They all 'present' differently and should be treated as such.

    Right rant over!!!!

    Jo
     
  6. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    CARERS' REPRESENTATIVES

    Hope the following may sound like good news - though I know how frustrating it is to think any improvements will come too late for us. (My Mum began to have memory problems about 1990 and is still living with it after 14 years - now almost at the end of life stage. And I feel like I've been there , done that when readign all your messages ).

    At the very beginning of Mums journey through dementia the family suffered unnecessarily and that was what I couldnt take. AD etc is bad enough without anything that makes it worse. So... the only way I could cope was thinking that one day when I had time and energy I'd grab every opportunity to ensure the unnecessary suffering didnt happen to anyone else.

    I'm afraid any progress is by very small steps at a time.

    In our area (and hopefully all over the country) carers and former carers of all patients are being asked to participate in the planning and management of health & social care. In fact for some services it is a gov. or Dept of Health requirement , sometimes a condition of funding. It can be a question of 'tokenism' & enabling 'them' to tick the box. It is up to us to make sure that doesnt happen.

    For now - I'd just say that as current carers , whenever you have a bad experience ask if there are any Carer Representatives who you could contact. Even if they cant change things immediately - boy - does it help to tell a fellow carer (or former carer) who is contact with the right people & - heads may roll !!!!! best of all the system may get tweaked to prevent it happening again.

    Hope that all makes sense !!!!! I will post about this in more detail on separate threads . Together we can become a real force to be reckoned with . Also at a Carers Reps meeting today I heard we may have a Minister for Carers soon ??? Anyone know anything about that?

    Take care all. Chris
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Just wanted to say that I liased with the hospital through the PAL's representative, (Patient Liason) there should be one in every hospital. I did this because they keep a record as well and if you go through them you often can get things resolved, if not they can tell you who to contact to make an official complaint.
     

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