Hi guys. Sorry for what is subsequently going to be a lengthy post, but I hope you can bear with me. First off, I have no experience with dementia, apart from seeing my nan here and there when I was quite young. Now, onto my situation. Some months ago I met an amazing young woman (26) and fell deeply, deeply in love with her like you wouldn't believe. I am about to turn 24, and before the events I will now relate to you occurred, we were both in no doubt whatsoever that we would happily be spending tghe rest of our lives together. To cut a long story short, she's been through a LOT of **** recently I've supported her through (unrelated to dementia mostly) and things were basically looking great for us when her grandad suddenly died, leaving her Alzheimers suffering nan alone. Her reaction to this was to say to me please not to contact her because she's thought it over and she realises we can't be together because her life for the next few years is going to involve giving up work (which she has already done) so she can care for her nan full time (she's a senior nurse, and well qualified to do so). Unfortunately I couldn't do this and I begged her and begged her, and right now she's busy sorting out her grandad's stuff as executor of his will and power of attourney or whatnot as well as looking after her nan (her family are totally disinterested and unsupportive), so obviously now is not the right time for us, but when things settle down in a few months and the dust settles, I want her to know that despite her being stuck in this situation, we can make her and I work. And obviously that involves me being capable of dealing with and helping with her nan, otherwise it would be totally impossible. So there is my situation. I love her and appreciate this is what her life is going to be like for the next few years, but right now with what limited knowledge of dementia I have, I'm willing to do it and support her and her nan. I can't let her go through this alone, and she would be if left to her family's devices. Basically I need to gain a more complete and thorough understanding from the perspective of someone completely inexperienced in it what caring for someone with dementia will be like, and with that understanding her and I will be in a better position to talk practically about how our relationship will progress, and also convince her that she doesn't need to cut me out of her life for my own good. A couple of points I think may be relevant: - Her nan tends to get upset at times and can be 'lively' but isn't aggressive or frightened that often. She tends to do things like polish the flowers in the front garden or put things down the toilet "for safe keeping", and from what I have been told is fun to be around (well, as fun as it coould possibly be, obviously). Her nan, although over 80, is in pretty good physical shape so she does tend to move around a lot and we could be looking after her for many years to come. - One of my girlfriend's concerns is that obviously since I don't know what dementia involves she'll introduce me to her nan and things will only be made worse. I want to reassure her I can deal with it, so one thing I am doing is going to be attending Alzheimers support groups to learn all I can about the disease. - She's also concerned that in 10 years I will be resentful to HER because I've put my life on hold for her, and I'm having real trouble convincing her this won't be the case because being with her is what I want from my life, and I will deal with whatever circumstances that comes under. There you have it guys! I can't bear to lose her and I will support her in whatever way she needs for as long as it takes, even if her family won't, but for her to be willing to let me do that, she needs to feel comfortable that things are going to be OK. So any input you guys could offer me on any aspect of the situation would be well appreciated. Sorry it was long winded. Thanks for reading.