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What a difference a week makes in the world of Vascular dementia

Fiona P

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
19
Short re cap - Last Monday after mum had chest pains through anxiety after dad's behaviour over the weekend , I spoke to social services who, brushed me off saying dads respite could not be brought forward and he didn't meet criteria.. Mum broke down and doctors Monday -WED New SW visited..

Where we are now
Friday afternoon SW called my home - I was not available as on school run, she relunctantly spoke to my hubby. From not meeting criteria on the Monday it has now gone to High Risk very concerned even to the point my daughter can not go round unsupervised. Picture this scene, it would be hilarious if we were not all stress monkeys operating on adrenaline and auto pilot.

I received a call from hubby at 3.25pm having missed all his previous ones as I was driving
" come home now!" he said we needed to go to another town about 5 miles away to view a home

I proceeded home to see my 6 ft 4 tall hubby running down a busy A road carriage way trying to head me off.. In his hand he was flapping an A4 sheet of paper.

My 6 yr old thought this was a great adventure and a mission

He jumps into the truck, exhausted and wheezing and instructs me to where I needed to go.

I had 20 minutes to get to a home 10 mins away in school traffic and Friday rush hour started early.

We got to the home accepted it, they are doing ( hopefully) a risk assessment today and dad has a 2 weeks short stay with option for 3rd week - non self funding

Administrator there said they only have private beds though long term. I am hoping that the risk assessment which was done in the home's sister home in our town will be sufficient and cut that part out. the care home in which he has had respite before has D & V at the moment so can not take him

I had to get him calmer downers from the doctor on Wednesday as advised by the SW.

Thus far, I cant fault her ( The SW) commitment to this case - I guess dad was far worse that we thought or we have coped with so far.

I had dad yesterday over for dinner to give mum a break and to make him think he was going home - as currently every night I get a call from their house where he asks me to take him home...
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
So glad you have a short term solution (assuming assessment OK) - your hubby's exertions were worthwhile!

Hope that your Mum is feeling a bit better and that the 3 weeks respite will give you all a chance to think about what needs to happen in the future to protect her health as well as you father's welfare. Good luck with it all.
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
Glad to see this, how do they expect people to continue to provide care at home when given no rest, hope the assessment goes ok. If they refuse your Dad , I would be asking how they then expect you and your Mum to cope if professionals feel they can't do it. Fingers crossed and good luck xx

Ange
 

Fiona P

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
19
Dad accepted into care home. Aim..... Leave housse by 2pm

Actually left at 2.50 after stubborn behaviour

Got to care home by 3pm

Left at 4 pm. Staff distracted and went for walk

Went to supermarket for provisions for mum. Got back to home town at 5 pm

Received call from ch..... Dad had already escaped. Through the day centre door.....

Hmmmmm:(:confused::eek:
 

Fiona P

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
19
Door was alarmed. He was retrieved from round the corner.

Care home said " not high security"

Worried as mum needs break, me too, but scared as know no homes in area have beds and he ll be put in some high security unit....

22 years never an escapee, dad there less than hour and he manages it:confused::confused:
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Hoping all goes well ( or better, anyway) Fiona, as it certainly sounds as though you all need a rest :)

Lindy xx
 

Fiona P

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
19
Dad still unsettled, been 24 hours with 8 escapes. Delivered respiradole tonight to care home two towns away
Think I got a flash on speed camera, respectful 34 ish in 30 limit

Broke down today with SW, desperate not to have some high security unit for his " Steve McQueen" escape tactics... Reassured he won't be sectioned ... No clue on procedural stuff.

Mum has been kept in dark over escape antics.. Though the CH report he is a real gent, charming and respectful ..

He is getting out of fire doors, obviously they can not be locked

Feel 80 myself , only 40's. Yikes:(
 

Fiona P

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
19
Dad not so bolting for door.

Mum looks well, not so stressed

SW visit Friday, dad not coming home.
Doesn't qualify for CHC, looks like pension will disappear and mum claims pension credit.
Apparently he pads around carehome in pj's after dinner chatting. No signs of aggression though that waS Aimed at mum me and Erin she is my six year old. CH giving him jobs keeping him busy .
Not visited, each day I cry, missing the fact he was just round the corner. Miss making him a cake or giving him a shave .

Have to see what financial assessment says .. Anything I need to be aware of?

Have really appreciated all the reply posts from TP I found it very supportive
Thank you

I shall post updates and hope to provide support for the Talking point family:)
 

CeliaW

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
5,643
Hampshire
Tough times in many ways Fiona but glad things are improving slowly. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well xx
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
Glad your dad's place has been secured. You can still make him cakes, if you bring in spare slices I am sure it will make you a very popular visitor!
 

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