What a difference a couple of hours break makes...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Lladro, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. Lladro

    Lladro Registered User

    May 1, 2019
    74
    I, like loads of folk on here, look after my other half 24/7 and it is wearing me out. However, I do now have a carer lady come in for just three hours a week at the moment - But I have to tell you, I went for a swim and a sauna today - all by myself! - It was fantastic!!!!!! No-one following me, asking me things, demanding attention and entertaining - no meals to prepare, no showers and dressing to organise - Nothing - Just me!
    Sorry - just had to share my happy state!
     
  2. Chaplin

    Chaplin Registered User

    May 24, 2015
    23
    Female
    Bristol
    Made me smile, so glad you had some time for yourself. :)
     
  3. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    783
    Female
    cornwall
    :).Lovely to hear you are having some time out..
     
  4. Justmary

    Justmary Registered User

    Jul 12, 2018
    66
    Female
    West Midlands
    Well done Lladro. I'm glad you had a good time. Do it as often as you can!
     
  5. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,880
    share away xxx so lovely to read it made me smile xxx
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,873
    Kent
    Don`t be sorry @Lladro

    I still remember my first break. I went down to the seaside, bought a takeaway coffee and sat looking out to sea for nearly 2 hours. Bliss!
     
  7. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,644
    south-east London
    That's great news @Lladro - I hope it is the first of many such leisure breaks. It makes a huge difference to those undertaking the carer role - and is well deserved.
     
  8. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    575
    Female
    Hi @Lladro, you made me smile.
    We don't have a carer yet for my mum, we manage on our own, although we are thinking about mum going to a day care centre once a week - a big step for us.

    So, to have time to ourselves, as a couple and not as a 'threesome', OH and I get up early a couple of times a week and are in our local pool by 6.30 am. The swimming session sets us up for the day, and we are back home before mum has woken up. Perfect!
     
  9. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,321
    Nottinghamshire
    I too remember the wonderful high I felt when I got a rare break @Lladro :)
     
  10. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,652
    I used to sneak a coffee in Asda's cafe when doing dad's shopping. It was nice just sitting on my own for a while until a couple of months ago when they changed it into a Mcdonalds.

    Sometimes I think we are too easily pleased but I would love to sit by the sea for a while and a swim would be wonderful.
     
  11. annielou

    annielou Registered User

    Sep 27, 2019
    221
    Thats lovely to read, so glad you had a nice relax x i hope you get to continue having some more times like that x
    I'm currently trying to persuade mum round to similar thing.
    This weekend my sister came to stay with mum for 2 nights so I could have a couple of nights off. I still saw mum with sis for most of the daytime but I got to stay at home with hubby at night. Although I spent most of the evening and morning either googling stuff to do with mum, doing admin or cleaning but for 2 nights I got to sleep in my own bed with hubby and not be woken in night and early morning by mum and also I got to use my own shower without interuption, which was bliss as I don't like mums and I'm always worrying what she'll get upto while I'm in there and often get interrupted.
    Little things can be big things when you don't get to do them much. X
     
  12. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,880
    Bless you, I am full of admiration for what full time carers do. Xxxx
     
  13. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    868
    Male
    Newcastle
    I was in a similar situation at the beginning of 2018. Our world had closed in and getting time to myself seemed almost impossible. I had applied successfully for Attendance Allowance for my wife and started spending it on a carer coming in to 'help with the dog' on one day a week. At first this was for a precious 3 hours then, when my wife seemed not just to accept but actually enjoy the visits, I increased it to 5.5 hours. This gave me time to reconnect with friends and start going out on cycle rides, something I hadn't done for well over a year.

    Without that precious one day a week I doubt if my struggles to look after my wife at home would have lasted as long as they did. It gave me back a little independence and helped clear my mind of dementia, at least until I got back after a day out. Perhaps more importantly, it encouraged me to try other things such as a day centre (not successful) and respite (successful).

    Getting time to yourself is so important @Lladro and I hope that you can continue to do it on a regular basis.
     
  14. Lladro

    Lladro Registered User

    May 1, 2019
    74
    Hi, thank you for sharing your experience too. Clearing my mind of the dementia stuff seems far away, as every day and early evening is challenging to say the very least - but I will see if I can extend the carer lady visit for another couple of hours - think what I could do then!
    My mom died four years ago and my Dad is 92 now, but very fit and self sufficient, my Dad hates his own company though - but I must take after my mom, who loved her own company - my wife has never understood this, as before the arrival of dementia she didn't like being on her own - and now, well if I am out of her line of sight for litarary 30 seconds then she panics. So for me this "alone time" is so, so precious.
     
  15. Lladro

    Lladro Registered User

    May 1, 2019
    74
    Hi, thanks for your reply. Yes, you are so right - little things can be big things when you don't get to do them much - You do learn to appreciate them more, which is an added blessing .
     

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