I have very mixed feelings about the situation. On the one hand, I am glad that I don't have to worry about mum. Either she would have been in a home that has had 8 deaths, or she would be at home, and I would be terrified I would catch the virus and give to her. On the other, the lockdown has made me brood more than I would have otherwise. Plus, I had a phone call asking for mum last week and a taxi driver asked how she was , so that was difficult. I was going to see about counselling before the virus came along, and have been given details for phone counselling, but now that I have them, I am having second thoughts. I am fine, or, maybe not so bad is more honest if I dont think about it. I am worried that this will only stir things up. I feel in limbo, which was bad enough BC ( before Coronavirus), but worse since. She pased away in November, and I still have most of her clothes on a stand in the living room. I had had ideas about re-arranging the living room but illogically now doing so, like the thought of getting rid of her clothes, seems like geting rid of her. It's illogical I know, but I feel stuck.
When mum passed away, I got over 20 sympathy cards, but only a few people have contacted me since to see how I am getting on, so I feel a bit bereft at times. Posting on here has been the one things that has helped me, to be honest. There is supposed to be a " Life after caring" course some time AC , altho I cant imagine how life will be after this. It feels like a double whammy, first mum's death, now this.