Well the Crisis has happened

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by bdmid, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. bdmid

    bdmid Registered User

    Dec 4, 2013
    27
    Female
    Bristol
    Just had the most awful week ever, I had been pleading with mums Drs for months for some help, he came out to see her last Tuesday and of course she was sweetness and light, she's 91 with VD and frontal lobe 4 years in, but as soon as he left she launched into another tirade how do they do that?? well mum just went on and on getting more agitated and aggressive and by FridayI just couldn't take anymore so called the emergency service, within minutes of them arriving they 'took away capacity' called the MH team to section her for her own safety. It was then a long drawn out 6 hours of red tape and jumping thro hoops for them to find a bed for her, which was some 30 miles away. During this time mum had to be sedated twice before they could get her out. It seems that she has both chest and a water infection, she refused antibiotics, so they are giving them to her 'covertly'. I ring daily and she seems to be up and down. We now have to wait for a bed to become available in her local authority before the MH Care team can do a full MH assessment, during all this we are not allowed to see her. I know she will be really distressed without me being there and not knowing anyone but I can do nothing but wait. I know I did the right thing, but it was so traumatic especially watching them trying to take her out of the house, will stay with me for ever. All I hope for her now is she gets settled in a nice residential home where she hopefully will see out her days happy and contented. The on call Dr and paramedics could not believe how I had put up with her behaviour without help for so long. So please, please anyone out there in similar situations,don't let it get this bad having someone sectioned is horrendous. Thanks for letting me prattle on, I have found comfort from previous posts here before for which I really, really appreciated. Be warned get help sooner if you can rather than later
     
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Well done dbmid, it's the best all round tough as it may be to do at the time it's in everyone's best interest sometime to bite the bullet.
    K
     
  3. Goldsmith

    Goldsmith Registered User

    Oct 21, 2015
    18
    Maldon, Essex
    bdmin it was heartbreaking to read your post and I am so sorry you and your mum had to go through this. I hear your warning but Im sure I would have done exactly the same in that you carried on carrying on out of love for your mum, no one wants to get their loved ones sectioned. My heart goes out to you. I just hope I will be just as strong if this happens to me. My father in law has been living with us for just a month so we are newbe's with this issue but it didnt take long to realise after reading through all the various posts that we are more or less on our own with this.
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    Morning bdmid
    thank you for your honest and open post - being so upfront about such a difficult experience will give support to many who read it
    I sincerely hope that your mum will now receive all the help she needs
    and that you have the chance to recuperate and rally your strength to keep supporting her as wonderfully as you have done, but without having to see to her everyday physical needs.
    I'm glad TP has been of comfort and support to you - it certainly is for me
    And Goldsmith - keep coming along, you are never on your own here.
     

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