What a week!!!
I wrote a long and frustrated post earlier this week (but my laptop bluescreened and I lost it) as our best made plans seemed put to rest. Fab Social worker brought us down to earth with a bump when she told us we needed to get mum to sya YES to the home NO WAY would we be able to.. she was admant she wasn't going in and anyway... she can't make any decisions properly due to the AD. We were gutted and devastated. The SW called a meeting scheduled for next Friday when basically they were going to section her. So we had to get a yes from her.
Brother 1 (her favourite!)and Sister 2 went to her house on Weds night to broach the subject. She cried and cried. They got nowhere Thursday a.m the SW was coming for a meeting. 4 out of 5 of us managed to get time off work. Mum was crying all the time, shouted, screaming, tried to get out, pushing past Sister 1 etc. Awful and sad scenario. I managed to calm her down and somehow we got her to come and look at the home!
She cried lots while we were there, with us all trying our best to make her understand the situation. It's voluntary 2 weeks respite (or as we decribed it 'Assessment') or a section and Psychiatric ward admission. One of the care assistants asked us what mum was, and when we told her she used to be a ward sister in a local large Psych hospital (now closed), it tured out that another resident was from the same hospital... in fact she was ince a nurse on mum's ward! They got chatting and mum was at ease. With the SW present we got mum to say 'Yes' to 2 weeks respite (but with a view to permanent residency)!
We all took a day's compasionate leave from work today. The Care home manager did the assessment this morning. Mum was quiet at firat but then laughed a lot. We took her in at 2:30. She cried and cried. We calmed her down. We got her unpacked etc and finally left her talking to her friend in the lounge
BUT too good to be true!!! 15mins later, we got a call. They could not calm mum down and she was more distraught than they had ever seen anyone! We all live less than 5 mins away so Sister 2, Brother 1, me and Nephew flew up. The care assistant was in her room hugging our sobbing mum and she was crying too! We calmed her down again.
The bottom line is that we figured out that the lounge sitaution is probably too much for her. SHe's lived alone for 12 years. So we popped out and brought Sister 1's portable Tv and video with a few of mum's favourite vids. She has a CD player too and a load of her favourite CDs. We have asked the staff to just leave her in her room for now and just check on her.. replay a cd or put on a DVD. I left her an hour ago as happy as anything watching Ben Hur whilst overlooking the beautiful farmers fields from her window! Sister 2 has just called to say that she popped in too and she was happy at that time too
I know it is early and that we may get a phonecall in the next hour or so... but I do have a good feeling. Totally exhausted though!
Karen
I wrote a long and frustrated post earlier this week (but my laptop bluescreened and I lost it) as our best made plans seemed put to rest. Fab Social worker brought us down to earth with a bump when she told us we needed to get mum to sya YES to the home NO WAY would we be able to.. she was admant she wasn't going in and anyway... she can't make any decisions properly due to the AD. We were gutted and devastated. The SW called a meeting scheduled for next Friday when basically they were going to section her. So we had to get a yes from her.
Brother 1 (her favourite!)and Sister 2 went to her house on Weds night to broach the subject. She cried and cried. They got nowhere Thursday a.m the SW was coming for a meeting. 4 out of 5 of us managed to get time off work. Mum was crying all the time, shouted, screaming, tried to get out, pushing past Sister 1 etc. Awful and sad scenario. I managed to calm her down and somehow we got her to come and look at the home!
She cried lots while we were there, with us all trying our best to make her understand the situation. It's voluntary 2 weeks respite (or as we decribed it 'Assessment') or a section and Psychiatric ward admission. One of the care assistants asked us what mum was, and when we told her she used to be a ward sister in a local large Psych hospital (now closed), it tured out that another resident was from the same hospital... in fact she was ince a nurse on mum's ward! They got chatting and mum was at ease. With the SW present we got mum to say 'Yes' to 2 weeks respite (but with a view to permanent residency)!
We all took a day's compasionate leave from work today. The Care home manager did the assessment this morning. Mum was quiet at firat but then laughed a lot. We took her in at 2:30. She cried and cried. We calmed her down. We got her unpacked etc and finally left her talking to her friend in the lounge
BUT too good to be true!!! 15mins later, we got a call. They could not calm mum down and she was more distraught than they had ever seen anyone! We all live less than 5 mins away so Sister 2, Brother 1, me and Nephew flew up. The care assistant was in her room hugging our sobbing mum and she was crying too! We calmed her down again.
The bottom line is that we figured out that the lounge sitaution is probably too much for her. SHe's lived alone for 12 years. So we popped out and brought Sister 1's portable Tv and video with a few of mum's favourite vids. She has a CD player too and a load of her favourite CDs. We have asked the staff to just leave her in her room for now and just check on her.. replay a cd or put on a DVD. I left her an hour ago as happy as anything watching Ben Hur whilst overlooking the beautiful farmers fields from her window! Sister 2 has just called to say that she popped in too and she was happy at that time too
I know it is early and that we may get a phonecall in the next hour or so... but I do have a good feeling. Totally exhausted though!
Karen