Well out of my depth

[FarmerA]

I don't know what to do about my Mum's cat. Since she's had it the cat has been the love of her life. It has a litter tray and has never been allowed out. However Mum has started filling the litter tray with stuff (this morning it was two boxes of cat food sachets, two toilet rolls and some soft toys) and turning the litter tray round so the entrance is against the wall. This means that the cat can't get in it. It was cleaned out on Wednesday but I can see that it hasn't been used since then (not it's fault poor thing). I am worried about where it is using instead. Mum won't let it out of her bedroom and I have a horrible feeling it might be using her bed which has all sorts of things on it (duvets - more than one and including one I know is 35 years old, baby cot covers, blankets, clothes). However when I tried to suggest that I investigate I was thrown out again. Also she has not been giving it water so on Thursday I gave it some water, but yesterday she had replaced this with a cup of coffee (it would be funny if it wasn't so sad). If I try to do something about it she gets angry and agitated and when that happens she refuses to eat for the rest of the day. She has so much stuff hoarded that she only has little pathways around her bedroom and I would have to physically manhandle her to get past her so I just have to leave and walk away. I don't know what to do.

 

[artyfarty]

Hi Farmer

I posted a little while ago about problems with my mum and her cat (she was over feeding it). The general consensus of opinion was that I should do what is best for the cat. (Sorry I can't find the thread)

I think with your mums situation there will be serious hygiene concerns (I know cat poo can be pretty harmful) as well. Could the cat be replaced with a similar looking cuddly toy perhaps?

You have my utmost sympathy as re-homing it (or whatever is appropriate) sounds simple but in reality is so hard - upsetting for you and your mum.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

 

[cobden28]

From what you say about your Mum, it sounds like she's barely able to look after herself never mind the cat.

From the hygene point of view I'd be inclined to consider rehoming the cat as soon as possible, both for the sake of the cat itself and for the hygene considerations with your Mum in mind. If the cat is in reasonably good health, perhaps the local RSPCA or cats Protection League would be able to rehome it for her? Then if your Mum misses having a cat around the house, maybe you could buy her a large, life-size stuffed toy one?

Ring your local RSPCA for advice in the first instance - you don't have to rehome the cat straight away if there might be a way round the problem.

 

[Delphie]

I don't think you have a great deal of choice FarmerA, as the animal's welfare has to trump your mum's wishes. Of course she wants to keep the cat and believes that she's looking after it, but she's not, and unless you can involve yourself to the extent of being there daily to make sure it's getting food and water, and that its toileting needs are met in a hygienic way, then it has to be moved to a place where it will get these basics at the very least.

Perhaps your mum can be placated with a soft toy, as others have suggested. Perhaps she'll be upset and might refuse to eat again for a while. But there's a good chance that she'll forget about it relatively quickly. I say that because from your post she comes across as quite ill.

I wish you the very best of luck and know full well that it's easier said than done, but do think about that poor animal and give it a chance to be rehomed somewhere where it will be properly cared for.

 

[meme]

I agree with all that has been said...the cat must be rescued and re homed , or what ever is needed to prevent it suffering anymore...I would not hesitate no matter what your Mother may say...she loved the cat so would want it safe, it is up to you to do this.

 

[FarmerA]

I am trying to make sure the cat is fed and watered and I now check the litter tray and the cat several times a day. The cat seems fine and actually rather smug! When Mum thought I might be taking away she got hysterical. I don't know whether it could be rehomed, it is afraid of everyone except my mother and hisses and spits at me. I am sometimes tempted to open the door and let it out to see what happens. We live on a farm a long way from traffic so maybe it would be ok if I try to teach it to go out.

 

[FifiMo]

Well, accidents do happen don't they... Maybe leave a window open and some food out for it to have access to. I wouldn't enter into long explanations or debates with your mum after the accident happens as (a) her ability to logically rationalise things is diminished and (b) she is apt to forget even if she has agreed with you and this can lead to a sort of obsessive paranoia that is nigh on impossible to fix.

After the accident bear in mind that your mum may be apt to wander to go look for her friend. If you see signs of an interest in looking for the cat then you could perhaps use it as an opportunity. You take her out to look as you get someone in to gut the room and freshen it up for her. A replacement kitty at Christmas might be a good idea ... Just not a living breathing variety.

Fiona

 

[FarmerA]

Dear Fiona, That's an idea I hadn't thought of, letting it escape. I know about the obsessive paranoia only too well, it's amazing the things I am supposed to have done!
Many thanks, take care, Angela

 

[cobden28]

I do hope nobody is suggesting the cat be allowed out and that it's thereafter forgotten about, ie allowed to become a stray !

Or is the suggestion the cat is supposedly alowed out and supposedly gets lost when in actual fact it's been taken to the RSPCA for rehoming ? Maybe then your Mum could have a life-size toy cat bought for her.....

 

[FarmerA]

I wasn't intending to abandon it just let it go in and out as it wants!

I do hope nobody is suggesting the cat be allowed out and that it's thereafter forgotten about, ie allowed to become a stray !

Or is the suggestion the cat is supposedly alowed out and supposedly gets lost when in actual fact it's been taken to the RSPCA for rehoming ? Maybe then your Mum could have a life-size toy cat bought for her.....

 

[Meercat]

Being the coward that I am, I'd go for the re-housing/RSPC option but you take it saying to your mum 'I'm taking it to the vets for a flu jab'.
On your return say the cat had to stay for some tests/escaped.

Short term place an additional litter tray under the bed behind boxes/stuff (please don't take offense your mum's room sounds like what our M's was like) and empty when she's not looking - the litter tray not the boxes!!! - unless you want to make life even more difficult!

As for the heap on the bed, I used to take the bull by the horns and clear everything off and get it in the washing machine before it could be re-hoarded on and make a fresh bed on the pre-text that I was searching for the lost glasses/torch/bank statements that had been mislaid. By the next night M would be sleeping with a filthy dressing gown, towels and 100's dirty tissues but atleast I'd tried.

Good luck and best wishes
Meercat

 

[meme]

yes letting the cat out as it wants is the first kindness...re homing is the second...then you could tackle her room and introduce a new (material) cat....